Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Confused (08/16/07)
-
TITLE: Sniggles | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jan Ackerson
08/21/07 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
“I’m Susie Fields, the secretary,” I said, pushing a box with my foot. “Can I help, Pastor Bradford?”
He chewed vigorously. “Call me Jeff,” he sputtered, swallowing. “There’s not really much you can do, I’m notoriously disorganized. But if my wife comes by, could you show her around?”
I returned to my desk, trying to imagine our persnickety previous pastor surrounded by such disarray. Pastor Bradford—Jeff—might just be a refreshing change. I busied myself with paperwork, startled occasionally by thumps from the next office.
The next morning, I found a stack of scrap papers on my desk. I read the topmost note:
for bullitin
Grimacing at the misspelled word, I rifled through the notes in growing confusion.
holly holly
Agnes Day
not care committee
sniggles group!
I squinted at the untidy handwriting and turned the papers over. No help there—one was written on the back of a used envelope, the others on old receipts. Jeff was still thumping around, and I really hated to bother him, but his notes had bewildered me. I poked my head into his office.
He greeted me with a grin. “What d’ya think, Susie? Will you join?”
More puzzled than ever, I stammered a bit. “Join—join what?”
“The singles group! Just what we need, doncha think?”
Of course I agreed, being rather desperately single, but…I looked down at the papers in my hand. Singles group! “I…I couldn’t read your handwriting. It says ‘sniggles group’.”
“Oh gosh—sorry. Didn’t mention my dyslexia, huh? Yeah, if it wasn’t for my brother, I never woulda made it through high school, and Caroline fixed all my seminary papers. D’ya think—can you figure out my horrible spelling?”
I showed him the papers, one by one. “Holly holly? It’s only September…”
“Holy, holy. You know, by Jimmy Owens?”
He certainly knew his music. “What about Agnes Day? We don’t have anyone named Agnes.”
“No, it’s a song! You know, ‘worthy is the Lamb’…” He sang a bit of a familiar tune.
I burst out laughing. “Agnus Dei! Okay, I’m catching on, but… not care committee?”
It was Jeff’s turn to laugh. “That’s note. I thought people might like to send notes when someone misses a service…a ‘not care’ committee would be pretty awful, huh?”
Over the following weeks, I learned to interpret Jeff’s scribbles, and to appreciate the enthusiasm he and Caroline shared. My confusion abated as Jeff’s spelling quirks became more and more familiar.
plz find picture of angle…I found a majestic angel, blowing a trumpet.
you pick a him…I sighed, wishing that picking a “him” were that easy, and chose a hymn.
put fiend day on calender…Friend Day was scheduled for September 16th.
jesus lover of my sole… I double-checked this one, knowing Jeff to be an avid fisherman. But no, he had meant “soul” after all.
sweet sweet spit…That one, ironically, caused me to spray my monitor with coffee. Sweet, Sweet Spirit, I typed, chuckling.
One morning in November, I looked through Jeff’s usual pile of notes and stopped cold.
this coopon good for one free back rub wenever you want
I was baffled—it seemed horribly inappropriate. Jeff had always been friendly but professional, and Caroline and I had become great friends. I swallowed hard, deciding to confront him. His door was open, and he was leaning back, his hands laced behind his neck.
“Uh-oh, you look confused. What’s Jeff done now?”
Now I was really perplexed—why was he referring to himself in third person? I held up the handwritten coupon. “I don’t...feel comfortable with this.”
He stood up and took the note, read it with interest, and snorted. “It’s for his anniversary, I think. Look, it’s stuck to another announcement. He must’ve misplaced it.”
“For his…what?” I felt hopelessly muddled.
“You must be Susie…right?”
The light dawneth. This must be Jeff’s brother—he’d never mentioned they were twins.
“I’m Jim.” He grasped my hand and shook it. “Jeff tells me you’re the best. My company sent me here for six months, and Jeff says you’ll show me around town for chocolate. What d’ya say?” He held out a Snickers, and I couldn’t help noticing that his ring finger was bare.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard the angles snig.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
And I would like to read more!
Laury
This was utterly fantastic. I dearly hope you develop this lively bunch into an award winning series!
Go on. You can do it. We're waiting....
The entire article was just wonderful, especially the ending, I'm a hopeless romantic. Very nicely done!
I loved it and definetly see how you one--oopps won.
best laugh I have had in a long time!
Betty Overstreet
That's awesome.
Terrific piece, well worth the big win.
I hope you will publish an anthology of all your stories that we can clutch to our hearts for joy! In fact, that might not be a bad idea as a prize for the BOB winner each year!
You have greatly excelled in putting true life on pen and paper. Hallelujah!
singed,
clide
Very cleverly written! You had my attention all the way. You really made me chuckle. Perfect last too. You have inspired me to pick up the pen again and write something. God bless!
Jeannette Schultz
Tasmania, Australia
Hugs,
Judi
ps. Congrats on your award!
Jackie Simmons
Wow you won. Well you deserve it. Good job. Keep writing. You're very creative.
I love it!
From one Jan to another, great job!
God bless you, and your talent!
Bye
I want to proclaim that you have been inspiring me for over three years. Your kind, but helpful comments, have made a difference, not only in my writing, but in my life as a whole.
This piece is an awesome example of what a challenge entry should look like. I'm sure it will galvanize newbies and old-timers alike. Thank you for acceding to God's edict.
We all say something like: God gave me the words, I just wrote them down. Sometimes, however, I think people forget why God entrusts a certain calling to a particular person.
This story answers those musings--you are the perfect person for this position. (I wanted to use an exclamation point, but could hear your words--or more accurately--see your words: Try to avoid overusing exclamation points; instead select salsa verbs.)
I, however, just can't resist. You are amazing and beloved by many!I wanted to use three exclamation points, but I did manage to stand firm. (I also used my thesaurus to compose this feedback.):)
I'm still learning,though, about parentheses, ellipses, and em dashes. Does the smiley go inside the parentheses or outside?
It's a brave new world out there! :)(Oohh exclamation point and a smiley--see how much I still need you?) FW just isn't quite the same when you are not here.
You posses amazing talent, a generous heart, and the ability to help me begin my day with a smile.
When I reached the end I was truly looking for more,
Thank you very much,
James R Manning