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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)

TITLE: General Bullregard -- A North South Tale
By Beth LaBuff
02/20/08


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Back in the fall of sixty-three…
Or was it sixty-four?
There was a minor skirmish that
‘Bout caused a barnyard war.

South feedlot yard on Shiloh Farm
Was where they kept the bull.
His name was Pierre Bullregard --
For short -- The General.

Fenced inside north pasture hills,
The sheep would safely lay
Beside the still creek waters,
With no worries that they’d stray.

North pasture hills and south feedlot
Were separated by
A current wielding ‘lectric fence
That stood ‘bout three feet high.

The General would often graze
Next to the ‘lectric fence.
His tough old hide got many zaps
Before he gained some sense.

Some days he’d walk the fence line
And some days trot -- for fun.
He carved a furrow in the ground --
A trail we called Bull Run.

That day of infamy that left
The General so distraught --
A sheep was grazing near the fence
Next to the south feedlot.

The General from across the fence
Was thinking, Muttonhead.
Then sheep’s eye locked with bull’s eye,
And “Baaaaaaaad,” the sheep’s mouth said.

“How dare that sheep from ‘cross the fence
Accuse me with that word!”
Sheep bleated out that “Baaaaaad” again
And “Baaaaaaad” The General heard.

Instead of letting bygones be
At night he counted sheep.
Then “Baa-Baaaaaad” echoed through his mind
And drove away his sleep.

Like chewing cud, his anger was
Regurgitated bile.
His all-consuming thoughts ’bout sheep
Envisioned things hostile.

The bull was livid and revenge
Became his sole obsession,
Payback for a misconceived
North pasture sheep aggression.

He pawed the ground then charged the fence
His eyes were seeing red.
And steam expelled from out his nose
And dust shook from his head.

He shorted out the ‘lectric fence.
Sparks crackled in the air.
His hair was singed, but in he slipped
Though none the worse for wear.

So blinded by his anger
He chased the sheep that day,
Till men in white coats were called in
And carted him away.

Folks said he went to market.
Some said he bought the farm.
Perhaps he cashed his cow chips in --
He ain’t been ’round this barn.


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This article has been read 1655 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sally Hanan02/22/08
Very clever. To be honest, I read yours to see if anyone was coming near close my way to read mine, but I see your little gem and mine are as unvisited (new word, like it??) as the old general. Yours is sheer brilliance, with no comments, so that must mean that I can apply the same assumption to mine :D
LauraLee Shaw02/22/08
This is fabulous! Creative, witty and incredibly entertaining.
Patty Wysong02/22/08
I Loooooove this! What an imagination and a play on words! This is super-duper...and right on topic. I'm still laughing! Great job.
Betty Castleberry02/22/08
Clever! Love the rhyme. Still chuckling, too. Thumbs up.
Lynda Schultz 02/23/08
Superb! I love it!
Joy Faire Stewart02/24/08
So entertaining! This is a delight.
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/24/08
How I love play on words, and how wonderfully you "played." This is so creative and clever--and so "enjoy-able" to read. Great job.
Laury Hubrich 02/24/08
Hilarious! Excellent! I always enjoy your poems! First-rate!
Laury
Catrina Bradley 02/24/08
Oh, the sheep made The General so MAAAAADD. ;) What a delightful romp, and hit the topic to boot.
LaNaye Perkins02/25/08
This is just delightful to read. So cute and entertaining. Well done!
Lyn Churchyard02/25/08
Oh dear... "Perhaps he cashed his cow chips in" that is so baaaad. LOL I just loved this. Very, very funny. So well done and on target. Applause!
Shirley McClay 02/25/08
Awesome! I know nothing about writing poems, but you hooked me and kept me there for every word! TOO funny :-)
Joanne Sher 02/25/08
What a complete RIOT! I'm sure this was loads of fun to write - and some of those were BAAAAAAAAAAD (in a good way, of course!). Absolutely delightful and wonderfully crafted.
Jan Ackerson 02/25/08
This is so good! I wish I had the gift to write light verse like this. Such a delight!
Dee Yoder 02/25/08
Oh what fun to read! Excellent rhythm, verse, and characters kept me reading right along to the end!
Debbie Wistrom02/26/08
Absolutely incredible, I'm becoming more of a poetry fan since joining FW. GREAT JOB!! This begs to be published!
Sharlyn Guthrie02/26/08
Your poem made me laugh -such images you've etched in my memory. Love the men in white coats and "he bought the farm." Great stuff!
Holly Westefeld02/27/08
This was a fun read. Enjoyed the allusion and word play.
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/28/08
Hooray and congratulations! I knew this one was something extra special!
LauraLee Shaw02/28/08
CONGRATULATIONS ON 2ND PLACE! WOW! Sooooo happy to see this brilliant piece recognized!
Sara Harricharan 02/28/08
ROFL! So glad I got to read this one. I loved the verse with the people in white who came to cart him off. The title is so funny...north, south tale. Nicely done!

***Congrats!***
Sheri Gordon02/28/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is so clever and fun.
Dianne Janak02/29/08
Beth... this was delightful and well worth the win in EC..! Your ability to weave a story with perfect rhyme and depth of meaning and lightness of heart is amazing.. a true gift from GOD... It makes me smile and I celebrate with you.. DJ
Betsy Markman04/25/08
Oh my, another winner from you. I've just found my way to your "Member Profile" page, and I think I'll camp out here for a while and read! You've got quite a talent.
Henry Clemmons05/02/08
I really enjoyed this, especiall read out loud with a southern accent. Enjoyment plus!! Also, thanks for your comment:)
Yvonne Blake 09/26/08
Beffy, I remember this! You are the master at narrative poetry.
Julie Arduini09/27/08
So glad this was part of FF, what a delightful read. I just love this.
Joanne Sher 09/27/08
I know I've said it before, but you are a GENIUS! I LOVE these, and am SO glad you're contributing to FF this way. An absolute delight!
LauraLee Shaw09/27/08
Okay, read it again, just because I had to. TRULY a stroke of genius.