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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Embarrassed (07/19/07)

TITLE: When IT Attacks
By Betty Castleberry
07/22/07


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My footsteps echoed down the narrow hallway of the church building. I opened the door to the room where our Bible study group meets and was greeted by a cheery “Hello Janice” from several ladies. I took my usual seat and jumped right into the friendly banter that always takes place before we get started. After all, it would be nearly impossible for a group of women not to spend at least a little time visiting. Besides, the happy chatter made just enough noise to hide IT.

I didn’t look forward to the room getting quieter when we began our study. I knew, sooner or later, IT would happen.

When I first started going to Bible study, IT didn’t seem so apparent. For the last few weeks, though, IT was becoming increasingly brave, and making ITself known, loud and clear. IT seems to know when I am in Bible class. IT isn’t very noticeable at any other time.

For some people, IT isn’t a big problem anyway, but for me, IT is embarrassing. I’ve tried to tell myself IT is normal and natural, and has happened to everyone, but it doesn’t help. IT still makes me blush.

Google and I have become good friends trying to figure out how to stop IT.
I’ve tried almost everything I’ve read about including avoiding milk, taking antacids, increasing my exercise, stuffing myself almost to the point of misery, you name it, and still, IT happens.

So, when I sat down in my chair this particular morning, I was trying to prepare myself for IT. The ladies are always nice when IT happens. They say it could just as well have been them, but that doesn’t really help. I just don’t want IT to happen at all.

Our leader asked us to open our Bibles to Matthew. I obliged her, and found the right chapter. This looked like it was going to be a great study. I was really looking forward to studying about forgiveness. Now if only IT would stay away.

As the room quieted down, I felt an odd tightening down in my lower abdomen. Oh no. It was really early for IT to start. I tried to ignore the sensation. It seemed to concentrate on my left side and dance a little jig in my gut. Nervously, I shifted forward in my seat, trying to make a little bit of noise in case IT happened. Thankfully, the feeling faded away, and I looked back down at the scripture we were discussing. Just a few minutes later, another peculiar sensation fluttered in my abdomen. IT started to build and swell until…oh dear. I coughed, hoping that would cover IT. I heard IT, but this time IT wasn’t too loud. No one else seemed to notice.

Since IT had already happened, I hoped I would get a reprieve before IT happened again. However, this wasn’t the case. It wasn’t long before I felt the first nagging hints of IT again. From way up under my ribs a little tingle started. The tingle started moving along, doing a long, slow slide down the center of my belly. It was teasing me, torturing me, leaving me not knowing when IT would finally happen. The tingling sensation came to rest just under my belly button. The peculiar bubbly feeling just sat there, waiting for the right opportunity to pounce on all the unsuspecting ladies. I couldn’t stop IT. IT had power over me. Unzipping my purse, clearing my throat, sniffing loudly, none of this would be able stop the sound of this Mega IT. I held my breath and braced myself, not knowing exactly when IT would occur.

At a particularly quiet moment, IT announced ITself with gusto. A low rumbling sound that sounded like a mini freight train came from the depths of my intestines. IT might as well have been the sound track from “The Guns of Navarone.”

Several pairs of eyes focused on me. I stammered. “I, I , guess I’m hungry.”

One lady started to chuckle. “Don’t worry about it, honey. I didn’t eat a thing this morning and my stomach’s growling, too.”

That was odd. I hadn’t heard a thing, but it was nice of her to try to make me feel better.

The group leader smiled. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just feast on The Word.”

Yes. Let’s ignore my growling stomach and feast on The Word. I wouldn’t be against going for a burger afterwards, though.


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This article has been read 1038 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/26/07
Cute story. The "it" could have been worse!
Marilee Alvey07/26/07
I'm with Verna. I was afraid that "IT" was worse! It is embarrassing, though. I try so hard to stop it by doing funny things like tightening my stomach muscles. Nothing works. It's bad, especially in church where everyone's quiet. I feel like getting everybody to do the wave, just to cover for it, but, instead, opt to sit and be embarrassed. You can't exactly go outside for every growl, can you? Thanks for the awkward memories!
Dee Yoder 07/26/07
So many potential ITs out there, just waiting to pounce at the worst possible moment! I agree with the previous readers; that other IT would be harder to ignore, especially if IT shared the same time schedule every week as the IT you're writing about. Funny stuff!
Lynda Schultz 07/26/07
I was thinking worse things and was actually relieved that IT wasn't what I thought! The suspense almost killed me though. Good work.
Dixie Phillips 07/26/07
OH MY....... was I ever glad the "IT" was your "IT" and not the "IT" I was thinking of.... I think my face is bright red... I had the wrong interpretation and was dying for you..... I'll never look at "IT" the same way again. Do you remember this little rhyme? Railroad crossings, Railroad cars can you spell "IT" without any Rs? Well, you know what I'm thinking... don't you? HA!
Joanne Sher 07/27/07
Amazing descriptions. I felt like I was right there in your belly with "IT." I have the same problem, by the way - when I was in college, a friend of mine was sitting three seats behind me and STILL heard my stomach growl. Great stuff.
Melanie Kerr 07/27/07
I thought IT was something considerably worse than a rumbly tummy. My problem is “bottom burps” some of which can be loud, and other can be quite aromatic! I’ll swap you any day!
Kristen Hester07/29/07
I really thought "IT" was something else and I was saying to myself, "oh no she's not.." I think I'd have skipped Bible Study if IT was the other thing. Growling stomachs are only a little embarrassing. I'd use it as an excuse to move the Bible Study to the Red Lobster or somewhere (any excuse to eat out). This is very well written. I enjoyed the suspense.
william price07/29/07
I loved IT! I too feared the IT was something of a more, hmmmm, more....
anyway, I thought it might have been something else.
Great job. Really, really enjoyed IT. God bless.
Sharlyn Guthrie07/30/07
Why does that always happen in quiet places? LOL You kept my attention to the end.
Loren T. Lowery07/30/07
Relieved to find out what "IT" truly was. This was definitely fun and something we all can identify with.
Patty Wysong07/30/07
I loved how you strung me along! I was good and did NOT jump ahead to find out what IT was--too funny! I have a noisy (grumbly) stomach, too, and you described IT just right!! :-)
Myrna Noyes07/30/07
What a cute story that most of us can relate to easily! I loved your descriptions of how each "rumble" got started and grew in intensity! :) Wonderful humor, too! Great writing!

Angela M. Baker-Bridge07/30/07
Lots to laugh about here! Thanks... Angel
Jan Ackerson 07/31/07
Oh, so funny! I'd love to hear this one read aloud.
Pam Carlson-Hetland08/01/07
Oh, too funny! I've had some red faces over IT, as well. As noted above, IT could've been something else. Great writing. You sure pulled the reader in...feeling badly that IT was happening but laughing just the same.
Sheri Gordon08/01/07
This is too funny -- and IT is embarrassing. (Both the IT you are referring to, and the IT that many of us thought it might be.)

Great writing. So much fun to read. Fantastic job with the topic.
Julie Arduini08/01/07
You paced this well, you never let us see the cards you were holding with showing us what IT was until it was truly time to reveal. This was a favorite, thanks for keeping me on the edge of my seat!
Cheri Hardaway 08/01/07
I wanted to jump ahead and find out what IT was, but I didn't. Great suspense. Humorous. Nice job. Blessings, Cheri