The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
04/17/08
Oh! This is awesome! A great poem for kids! Awesome!
Laury
04/18/08
Delightful.
04/18/08
It's so nice to see a story for kids about their dads instead of their moms, and you did this one well.
I can visualize the illustrations that could accompany this in storybook form. Nice job.
04/21/08
Oh Verna, this is so good! My only complaint is that I didn't want it to stop!
04/22/08
This is absolutely wonderful, Verna. A brilliant children's book. I was picturing the illustrations as I read. You have got to pursue this. :)
04/22/08
This is a delightful poem that begs for illustration.
04/22/08
Loved this poem. What a picture of nature, and contrast to humans. It is so good of God to give us Daddies who show love, as well as protect us from harm. This would be such a good poem for a Sunday scool class of kindergarten-age to primary-age children. Good for us adults, too. I too am glad that I had a Daddy like no other....Helen
This is so well written from a child's POV, that it sounds almost as if it were transcribed from a conversation at an elementery school. I really enjoyed the analogies with all the creatures, you were able to distill their fatherly qualities perfectly.
04/23/08
Verna, dear, you know how I feel about this delightful poem! Could this be THE one that gets published and illustrated? It's begging to be read to many, many delighted children!
I agree that this should be illustrated. The poem is begging to be made into a children's book!

I loved the rhythm and the comparison of the human daddy to each of the animal daddies. Awesome, awesome writing!
04/24/08
This is so sweet. I want a copy of the book too. :) I love the animal daddies and the child's daddy comparisons.
04/24/08
this would be a GREAT children's book. It sounds like one that they would have someone read over and over and over again!
Awww! This is so sweet and cute! I loved the lines that reflect her daddy and then the animal dads. That was neat, I really liked the last lines best of all though. Great job! ^_^
I just came in to take a quick peek at the new topic and couldn't resist a few extra minutes to see who placed. Wow, Verna this is so precious and very publishable. Congratulations, your poem is so deserving of your win. I love it.
04/24/08
Wow, Congrats on 2nd place, Verna!
Congrats on your win, my dear friend Verna. This was a delightful poem.
This is absolutely delightful, Verna. I can picture many children being blessed by this one. And as was mentioned earlier, this really should be illustrated. Fantastic job! And congrats on your placements in Masters and EC!
04/24/08
Congrats Verna!! on your level placing and EC with this awesome poem!
Hurray for VernaJ! Congrats on your EC! ^_^
Love this poem. Congratulations on your win!
04/24/08
Congratulations on your EC, Verna. I am so glad to see this place--it's awesome
04/25/08
This is a wonderful poem. Congratulations.
04/25/08
This is great! I loved it from the first word to the last. You should make this into a children's book. :) Congratulations!
Congratulations, dear sweet Verna!! What a wonderful and creative poem! I can't wait til you get back to find this surprise waiting for you!! I can sooo see this as a precious little children's book with darling illustrations! Again, CONGRATULATIONS!!
04/25/08
Dittos to Linda's comment. God's design, daddies for all the babies, is so beautifully expressed, here. And, it has the ring of sweetness that I so appreciate in the author: you, dear Verna. I like the idea of a little illustrated children's book; I'll order 20, one for each of the grandchildren, and dozens more for gifts (^&^). I love this!
04/26/08
So cute, and the ending is just perfecct. So many endearing images fled through my mind with this one.
04/26/08
Congrats on your well deserved win and placement! This is a good one for any age to read, and that's the mark of a talented writer.
You and your writings are such a blessing. Thank-you for the kind remarks on "Before Breakfast" You'd make a good coach, too : )