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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

TITLE: Missile Biscuits and Fried Hens
By Verna Cole Mitchell
02/09/08


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Twas many, many years ago
That I became a bride.
I thought wed live on sweet romance;
He wanted meals beside.

Thus I determined I would be
A cook extraodinaire,
Though Id no practice in this field
Nor patience to prepare.

For our first week of married life,
We lived on BLTs.
To make these well, I did excel,
Till he said, No more, please.

At breakfast time I burned the toast
And scorched the scrambled eggs.
The coffee that I served to him
Could be defined as dregs.

Id seen my Mom knead flour and lard
And thought Id do the same.
Her biscuits were as light as air;
My missiles were a shame.

Directions on the box of rice
Said something bout a cup,
So that is how much rice I used;
We had piles to mop up.

Ill not forget the first boxed cake
That I so proudly made.
I placed waxed paper on the top.
Thats where the icing stayed.

I didnt care for oatmeal;
Yet he thought it was nice,
But sad to say my first attempt
It took a knife to slice.

The chicken that took hours to fry
Was tough as some old men.
Then I reread the label and
Found out it was a hen.

If I had shed a shiny tear
For each burned pie Id bake,
Wed have a place to keep a boat
In our own briny lake.

Those past meals do not matter now,
Upon a second look.
Gods blessed our home with happiness,
And he eats what I cook.


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This article has been read 916 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marita Vandertogt02/14/08
This is hilarious...what a fun read - this one's a keeper to pull out from time to time for a good chuckle.
Great stuff!
Lynda Schultz 02/14/08
Too Cute. This stanza reminded me of a mistake my mother once made that made Christmas dinner rather interesting:
"The chicken that took hours to fry
Was tough as some old men.
Then I reread the label and
Found out it was a hen."
Good work.
Shirley McClay 02/14/08
Very fun! LOL. I can totally see this published.
Sheri Gordon02/14/08
Very sweet. Nice example of the topic.
Charla Diehl 02/14/08
Very cute. I identified with a lot of this as I knew nothing about cooking as a young bride. God bless the kind and patient husbands. Good work.
Dee Yoder 02/15/08
Oh so funny, and oh so true! I think we all have examples like this one in our early cooking days. It sparkles with fun and right on topic.
Jacquelyn Horne02/15/08
Cute poem. Loved the irony.
Joanne Sher 02/15/08
Delightful - love the voice of this. I think my favorite stanza is the second-to-last, but they were all great. Creative and clever.
Patty Wysong02/15/08
This is so fun! My honey wanted meals, too. You captured being a bride perfectly!! Especially one that doesn't know how to cook!! (I know from experience! LoL)
Sally Hanan02/15/08
Very sweet poem, and you worked out the rhythm really well.
Betty Castleberry02/15/08
Cute poem. There's lots of truth in it, too.
I love the last line. Kudos.
Beth LaBuff 02/16/08
This is so much fun. Enjoyed the oatmeal you could slice and the lake of briny tears. :) You've written this perfectly (rhyme and meter)... with an inspirational ending. I love this.
Leigh MacKelvey02/16/08
Funny story poem! I liked the verse about the tears shed that would have made a briny lake. that tied the toopic in well!
Kristen Hester02/17/08
Fun, fun, fun! I love it.
William Stevenson02/18/08
I like it.Don't know much about writing but I think I know when I see a good thing. I chuckled all the way through and I'm a man, I think.
Debbie Wistrom02/18/08
So much fun here, so clever, thanks for the joy.
Sharlyn Guthrie02/18/08
So cute and fun. I love the lake of brine. Excellent!
Laury Hubrich 02/18/08
Excellent writing! So much fun! And I can sooo relate!
Laury
LauraLee Shaw02/18/08
This is a keeper and is sure to be a delight for many for years to come. I can see it as the intro to the new bride's cookbook. :)
Lyn Churchyard02/18/08
Oh teary bride do not be sad
Your tale doth make us very glad

If your sweetie says your cooking kills,
Just say WE think your writing thrills.

Oh what a hoot this was Verna, so much fun. No wonder you have Prov 17;22 as your tag.
william price02/18/08
Don't know much about poems or cooking, but this read great to me. Excellent lines. God bless.
LaNaye Perkins02/18/08
This poem was a delight to read and took me back to my days as a bride. Too funny and oh so true! Well done!
Rita Garcia02/18/08
A delightful and fun read!
Jan Ackerson 02/19/08
Verna, this is precious, from the title, through the hilarious examples, to the lovely bit at the end which satisfies both the topic and the reader. Love it!
Pam Carlson-Hetland02/19/08
Absolutely loved this and was pretty sure I knew who wrote it. Great job. This is a winner.
Sara Harricharan 02/20/08
LOL! I liked your title and how true it is to find yourself with nothing to cook...and some fairly interesting, though disastrous results! I loved the line with the chicken turning out to be a hen that was tough as some old men. That was cute! ^_^