The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/05/08
Brought tears to my eyes. Very good.
Gave me goosebumps with this, I hope they don't sell the house, the ending was so sad, but good. ^_^
This confirms what our real home is , enjoyed reading it.
06/06/08
Oh, this is so sad. Nice writing.
Laury
06/06/08
I love how expertly you wove the two "homes" together in this piece. They both seemed incredibly real and wonderful. Very nicely done!
Very sweet and tender story. The last line capped it of so beautifully. Well done.
What a beautiful depiction of a happy home and anticipation for the home we'll never have to sell or leave! Great descriptions. Leaves me wondering how things turned out with the old family home.
Very moving and beautifully told.How wonderful to know we all have a mansion waiting for us. I loved the way you tied it all together.
Norms
06/08/08
Oh great, now you've put that song in my mind...

Wonderful mood here--such love and tenderness!
06/08/08
As much as we love our earthly homes, we need to remember where our real homes are.
Thanks for the reminder.
06/08/08
Lovely story laced with hope.
What a scene. Loved the family woarmth and caing you protrayed and so happy the dad was happy to be going home.
This is very good. The song reminds me of my childhood as I sat beside my best friend playing the piano - with the two of singing our hearts out. Thanks for a beautiful piece that reminds us all of our heavenly home.
06/09/08
The honeysuckle is in bloom here and I love it. Your story gave me goosebumps. Your writing is wonderful and your ending is full of hope.
Yes, indeed, this is just a temporary home but heaven is the glorious place we all await to go.
This is beautiful. I loved teh ending. Bravo!
06/09/08
Incredible writing; a tender, sweet story filled with hope. Well done.
06/09/08
Oh, I love these kinds of stories! As I read this, I was touched by the love and respect the children were expressing as they toured their family home. The end is just the way I hope my time on earth ends. This is a lovely story.
Absolutely beautiful. Masterful writing that pulls the reader in to see all that you see.
Beautifully written with excellent description drawing the reader into the scenes. Love it!
Masterfully written. The descriptions were superb, and the emotions could be felt in the words. Thank you for sharing.
You wrote this so well that I felt like I was right there with this brother and sister. You made me cry too. This was well done.
This was so tenderly and skillfully written. You are a master of descriptions and this is one of your best!
06/11/08
The long list of comments says a lot about this story. It is well worth taking the time to read, comment on, then read again. I think I will.
Heavier than your usual, perhaps, but beautiful. I especially like this image rich paragraph.
"Leah touched her father’s thin hand, tracing the bulging veins along the top. She wound her fingers in his and watched him sleep. His eyes fluttered open
briefly."
I loved your kittens story, too, of course.
Betty Dee - such a beautiful entry, you can really pull those heart-strings when you want. Wonderful story, well told and one to hold onto when things seem bleak. Loren
06/12/08
What a beautifully sad story. It's sad to watch a loved one die. It's beautiful when they realize they are on the threshold of eternity and about to be ushered into the presence of Jesus. Well-written piece, very emotional.