The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/05/08
Wonderful story. I especially loved these lines: "Home is where you are dry and safe, surrounded by those you love. As long as we’re in God’s hands, we’re home. We know that now."
Whew, some intense suspense there for sure! I liked the ending where she was glad it had passed by, but then realized what that meant and prayed for the folks it was headed to. Nice job. ^_^
06/06/08
I felt like I was right there with you, living it minute by minute. Great descriptions especially.
06/08/08
Okay, this freaked me out a little bit, having a daughter and son-in-law in Pinellas County! Great job with the suspense, and the ending was absolutely perfect!
06/08/08
Ooooh, very suspenseful. Well done.
06/09/08
Your word choices are excellent in this, "houses on our street mourn behind shuttered windows" and "Grey clouds thicken a dawn bereft of birdsong." I'd never thought of packing a utility bill but I can see the wisdom of doing so. I'm glad you were spared.
You built the suspense with much skill. I can't imagine the anxietly...Your second prayer touched me. Thanks for the reminder.
06/09/08
Great story and nicely done.
Whoa. I had to let out a deep breath after I finished reading this, because I didn't realize it, but I was holding my breath towards the end of it.

This story pulled me in and held on tight until the very end. I like how you inserted the updated hurricane report into your dialogue. That helped build added suspense.

I am happy that your home was spared, and I like how you got the reader thinking about those in Charlotte who were affected by the way you ended this.

What can I say? This piece had everything. Thank you for sharing this personal story of God's protection.