The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/08
Chilling. There is such a ring of truth in here regarding how cults get ahold of members. Nice work portraying the agonizing drama here.
01/11/08
Very nice job mixing the past with the present. I'd like to think this situation couldn't happen, but it's scary that the scenario is still true to life.
01/11/08
Much truth here. The weaving of the two stories together is very effective - you truly showed the huge change that had taken place very effectively and starkly.
01/11/08
Oh wow. This is very scary. I think too many of us fall into this trap of not talking to our kids because we don't want the confrontation -- we'll just wait for the problem to go away.

Great job with the topic.
I love the way you wrote this and your message was quite chilling and really good. Well done!
Very nicely done. Showing th past and present together was very effective and illustrated how the mother/daughter relationship got to where it was. This a message to all the parents...address your concerns right away. Good job.
Scary! I like the formatting of past/present. Great lesson, and wonderful illustration of the topic.
Oh...frightening. This is well-written and conveys your point well. I would like to know how it turned out. Did the intervention work? This begs for expansion.
Chilling, but an incredible illustration of the topic. I can't even begin to imagine how any family would begin to deal with a situation like this.
01/14/08
Chilling, and very well-written.

I understand where you were going with this and the topic, but a stronger connection to the "stitch in time" aspect might be needed here.

You did a superb job with the flashbacks--seamless and compelling.
What a battle parents fight -we try to shield our teens from their own roller-coaster emotions - and the world with all its myriad dangers... then satan comes in the back door in the form of cults.

Excellent presentation of a mom's frustration - and I could see the topic in the flip side. Was there a stitch she could have taken to avert the problem before it was full-blown.
Thank you for reminding me to have the courage to speak to family about being lost, both in false religion, and the lies of secularism.
Thanks for the hint, I am touched by the loss, especially the loss of control a parent has over a child these days. Heart wrenching tale.
01/15/08
Parents often trust "church" activities without checking out the leadership or the messages being presented. We need to know that not all leaders have the best interest of the teens in mind. This is a scary example of what can happen when we back away from our parental role.
01/16/08
Wow! The H.S. group may as well be a criminal-minded street gang. Oh, the heart-breaking things we go through as parents!
WOW. This is so powerful...and SO sad! I could feel for the mother as she watched her daughter slip away, bit by bit into a ghost of who she used to be. The title is the haunting question at the end. Great job. ^_^
a frightening situation, for sure. You're right. Earlier intervention could have made all the difference.
I was saddened by the remnder you expressed so clearly of the way the devil tries to break up families. Very strong writing.
Great story and it brings to mind another old adage, "he who hesitates is lost". I think this piece is very contemporary as our lives today seem to be so wrought with deceptive, intriguing influences. Great writing.
The descriptions are so vivid, I was moved to tears.
01/17/08
This is a important message. I was impressed by the way you suggested that the danger could be within 'Christian' circles. I hope this is fiction.
01/17/08
Wow! This is incredibly sad and scary. My heart breaks over those blinded by "cults". (And so many of those blinded try to "witness" to us.) I get a bit angry when I think about the "leaders" that draw others into these "groups". Great writing! I would call this a "must-read" for parents with teenagers.