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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: The Family Pet (05/15/08)
Busy at work, I’m interrupted by the ring of the phone. I pick it up to hear my neighbor’s frantic voice, “Janet, you’re going to have to come and get your dog right away. Pasquale has somehow ripped open the screen on our back porch and has made a huge mess. He’s acting strange, even for Pasquale, and he’s growling something fierce. I did get the hole in the screen blocked, and he’s trapped on the porch. Hurry.”

“That dumb dog is going to be the death of me,” I mutter as I pull my car keys out of my purse and go to tell my boss I’ll be back as soon as I take care of my problem at home. I continue my soliloquy as I travel the short distance from my office to our house. “I didn’t want a dog in the first place, but would anyone listen to me? No, Jim has to bring this sad excuse for a dustmop home, and he’s been nothing but trouble ever since. It isn’t enough that he’s made our yard look like a junkyard; he has to jump over the fence and get me into trouble with the neighbor. You just wait till I get my hands on that mangy dog. I’ll teach him a lesson.”

I pull into my driveway, slam the door, and stomp over to my neighbor’s back porch. “Pasquale, I’m going to take you to the pound,” I threaten as I open the screen door. I can see poor Mrs. Langtry peering fearfully through the window of her door to the porch. I wave to her and try to straighten out some of the mess my dog has made. Then I start for home with Pasquale following meekly behind me as I fuss at him all the way. “Pasquale, why did you have to pull such a dumb trick?” He follows me up the steps to my porch and stretches out comfortably on a little rug there.

I wash my hands, comb my hair, and head out to the car to go back to work. As I close the door to the porch, I scold Pasquale one more time. Suddenly, I feel something brush against me and look down to see a dog in my yard that looks just like the one that I had left on the porch. “Pasquale?” I say, as I look from one dog to the other. The one in the yard licks my hand and wags his tail.

Do you think the Lord would have me ask forgiveness of a dog…or two?
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This article has been read 1651 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
05/22/08
Would love to see this expanded. You did a great job of showing the frustration of your MC. Maybe more description of the end would help. Could just be me, though.
Laury Hubrich 
05/24/08
Oh! That ending was a surprise. Will the REAL Pasquale please stand up? LOL!
Laury
Dee Yoder
05/24/08
Oooohhh **groan** You got me at the end, too! It didn't occur to me that it might be an impostor bad doggie...poor Pasquale; blamed for a deed he didn't commit!
Gregory Kane
05/26/08
The clues were all there in the opening paragraph. Nice twist at the end. I wonder what the real Pasquale was thinking as he watched his imposter
Shirley McClay
05/26/08
AWWWW.. poor doggy! He is innocent and yet all assume him to be guilty! Hope he got a special treat.
Jan Ackerson
05/27/08
Made me laugh out loud! Thanks!
Joshua Janoski
05/27/08
I liked the twist at the end. It made the story very fun. Thanks for sharing. :)
Debbie Wistrom
05/28/08
Ouch. Poor dog. Loved the tale, thanks for sharing.
Betty Castleberry
05/28/08
What a hoot! I love a surprise ending, especially if it's true. Well done.
LauraLee Shaw
05/28/08
Wowzer, your ending made me gasp! Well done!!!!
Sara Harricharan
05/28/08
heehee! I love the twist! I didn't even see that there could've been too dogs! Great job, especially with the last line! ^_^
Cheri Hardaway
05/29/08
Great twist and surprise ending! I was left wanting more details about Pasquale and the imposter. Nice job. Blessings, Cheri
Mariane Holbrook
05/29/08
Oliver Twist is at it again! What a great story. Can you do a sequel? It's too good not to have more, sweetie!
Peter Stone
05/29/08
A dog imposter! Didn't see that coming. I think that if the paragraphs had been broken into shorter ones, the story would have flowed more easily.
LaNaye Perkins
05/29/08
Oh I loved this! Nice twist at the end, didn't see it coming at all. Well done.
Lyn Churchyard
05/29/08
Certainly didn't see the twist in the tale coming. I thought it would turn out that Pasquale was after a snake. Good story, especially showing the frustration of both the neighbour and the owner. Well done.