Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Savory to the Taste (07/26/12)

TITLE: Death Shall Wait
By Amy Michelle Wiley
08/02/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The explosions shuddered through the ground, reaching even us, huddled far beneath the city. The concrete below me vibrated. Dirt fell from the ceiling and a cold vapor crept through the brick wall’s cracks, nudging the dust into swirling clouds, whispering a premonition of death.

I coughed. It sent a sharp stab of pain through my chest and I grabbed at my ribs. The bones pressed tight against my thin skin. Groaning, I pulled my knees up, wrapping myself around my aching stomach.

My movement made Sissy stir. Her eyelids fluttered and she squinted at me through the dust. Her blue-tinged lips turned up into a smile and through chattering teeth, she spoke. Over the wail of the air-raid sirens, I could just make out her words.

“Tell me a story.”

I almost smiled too. It didn’t matter where we were—she was still the little girl, the little sister she’d always been. I scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her, willing my body heat to infuse her, give her more of that life we so tenaciously clung to. “Way up in the mountains, there is a dragon who spits fire, and screams. All night he stalks the cliffs, daring anyone to meet their death.”

“I’ve seen him.”

It was true. He zoomed above us every night, thundering through the air, opening his belly to drop firebombs that triggered the incessant alarms.

“But one knight determined to end the dragon’s reign of terror. He would defeat him. But not alone. No, he would gather the bravest men, the strongest, smartest, and most skilled. They would train until they were invincible. Then, and only then, would they face the monster.”

“Soon?” Sissy grasped my hand. “Will he be dead soon?”

“Very soon.” I wrapped my other hand around hers, enclosing it in a cocoon. “But first the kingdom threw a grand feast to send them off in honor.” All my stories came around to food eventually.

Sissy sat up. “Did they have roast beef?”

“Roast beef simmered in a savory sauce of garlic, onions, and capers. Bowls were heaped with fresh fruit: oranges, grapes, pomegranates…”

“And peaches?”

“Peaches so ripe they dripped sweet syrup down your chin when you bit into them.” I licked my lips. My mouth filled with grit. Ugh.

Sissy fell asleep as I talked, and after a bit I eased her to the floor, slipping my jacket under her head.

I crept up to the world above us, if it could still be called that. For a long while, I crouched in the tunnel entrance, watching. Smoke and flame shifted the darkness. My eyes darted, catching each movement, analyzing its origin.

Finally I deemed it safe and eased into the street. Mingling with the shadows, I slipped through the town until I spotted a former restaurant laid open by a bomb. Only a corner of it smoldered, so I clambered through a collapsed wall and darted into the kitchen, flinging open a cupboard.

Empty.

I yanked open the next and the next. Shelves, drawers, even the pantry held only gaping rows of nothing. I sank against the floor, my legs suddenly too weak to hold me another second.

Please. Please! I knew not to whom I petitioned.

I drew myself up and stumbled toward the door. As I passed the garbage bin, I spotted it—a gleam of white in the bottom.

Bread!

I snatched it up. The heel was crusty and stale, bits of green mold sprouted here and there, and it was caked with congealed grease drippings.

I clutched it to my chest and raced back with hardly a glance to check for danger.

“Sissy!” I burst into our shelter, forcing myself to slow as I eased her upright.

“What is it?” She steadied herself with a toothpick arm, trembling from the exertion.

“You remember that feast the knights were eating?”

There was that smile again, gleaming even in the darkness. “The way you described it, I could almost taste it!”

“Well, picture it now. Close your eyes and open your mouth.”

She did.

I held the moldy mess, hesitating. Then I yanked a piece off and popped it into her mouth. “Swallow it quick!”

Her mouth closed. For a minute I thought she would gag and spew it out. But then she chewed. Once, twice, three times. She swallowed.

I grimaced. “How bad was it?”

She cocked her head, considering. Then she thrust out her palms. “More, please?”

We laughed.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 525 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/03/12
You hit the reader immediately with a huge conflict and sense of suspense that propels the story onward. You covered the topic in a fresh way and gave new meaning to Give us our daily bread. It may not have tasted the best, but the grease smeared on it would give the girls a bit of desperately needed fat and the mold could likely fend off illnesses. The message is profound. It may not be the bread we want, but the Lord will give us what we need.
Camille (C D) Swanson 08/03/12
Wow - this was a riveting tale and an ingenious entry. I was so into the entire piece. Great writing, and wonderful dialoque and prefect conclusion!

Thanks! God bless~
Helen Curtis08/05/12
This is so good. The setting was terrifying; I can't imagine being in such a situation so young. The elder MC came across as one well experienced in searching for food through the rubble; how this reminds me that when life is full of 'rubble' I need to keep on searching for God's provision and, as someone else here commented, eat what I'm given, even if it is unsavoury to my taste.

Your descriptions are beautiful, your characters believable, and the ending is hopeful. This was a great read. Well done.

Myrna Noyes08/05/12
I really like stories with a historical setting, and this had a definite WWII "feel." It was a compelling piece, and I admire the "pluck" and spirit of both sisters. Good writing! :)
Ellen Carr 08/06/12
This is gripping and beautifully written. Very good indeed. Thank you!
Laura Manley08/06/12
Through this tragic story, I was pleased to have a smile on my face at the end of your story. This reader was mezmorized by your descriptive writing and the story flowed from beginning to end. I also enjoyed what I considered to be a very unique writing. Very nicely done!
Loren T. Lowery08/06/12
Spot on for descriptive writing and setting an authentic atmosphere for time and place. The story was compelling, drawing this reader in and emphatically caring for the characters and their outcome all the way.
Sarah Elisabeth 08/06/12
Wow. Vivid and gripping, loved every unique line. Hope this does super well!
Noel Mitaxa 08/07/12
I love how you have transcended the terror of the scenario with a hope that soars hiugher than the bombers and for longer than their raid - hope that is borne out of sibling love. Well done.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/07/12
This is outstanding for description, characteriztion, and suspense.Great job!
Jody Day 08/07/12
Very well done. The story held my attention throughout and it serves the topic well. Good job.
Camille (C D) Swanson 08/09/12
CONGRATS!!!!

God bless~
Barbara Lynn Culler08/09/12
What a sad story of life that does happen. Great telling and showing. Congrats on your EC!
Myrna Noyes08/09/12
CONGRATULATIONS on your E.C. for this moving, well-written story! :)
Kara Dunham 08/11/12
Well done! I just love love this piece. Really nicely done Amy!