The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow! I got chills from reading this. I immediately was in this MC's mind and could feel his pain of watching his brother fall. You illustrate the saying in two ways, through both brothers. One for keeping a secret and things getting worse and worse until he decides to tell his mum and the other by falling in with a bad crowd and growing worse every day. Very good!
Excellent writing. This kept me hanging on until the endówish I knew how it turned out (hint, hint!).
Your story held me captive until the very last word. This was very gripping. Great writing.
You capture my attention and held on tight, at the end a tear fell down my face.
Very compelling with excellent descriptions. You captured the younger brother's inner turmoil masterfully.
I was drawn into the story by the MC's voice, but you kept me involved through the last word. Excellent writing.
Great job with the topic. You really captured the little brothers adoration of his older brother, and his heart breaking decision, at last. Perfect title.
Your very poignant story is written with a masterful touch.
Such decisions are not easy and your writing revealed this with eloquence. If only are two little words that constantly tug at us all. Great writing.
The jumble of emotions and the difficult decision this boy faced is so evident in the writing. You done a beautiful job with this!
Chilling story that enthralled me. It broke my heart.
Snitches may get stitches, but you illustrate so vividly that the price of not snitching may be higher still. A good story for youth.
Marvelous voice, Amy!
This entry was so well written that it flew by and I wanted to hear more of the story. Terrific descriptions laid gripping emotions out so that they were difficult to read. You really captured the angst of the family. Good message.
Right on topic!
It might have been stronger if you started with the action instead of explanation.
Good writing.
Wow - this is fantastic. Chilling - with your descriptions from the younger brother's POV. I found myself holding my breath.
Excellent writing! I loved the voice and descriptions!
Congratulations, Amy!!! :)))
Powerful message here! So often we will run and hide, not wanting to be involved. It is the courageous that does what is right for the better and not the "one".
Congratulations on an excellent piece!
Great feeling and tough choices, thanks for a touching entry.
Very well done! The emotions came through loud and clear.
Wow. I felt the intensity welling up inside the boy as he tried to hold in his secret. You made me feel like I was the MC.

I'm glad that it ended with him finally telling on his brother. Though that would be a hard thing to do, it was the right thing, and it showed that he truly loved him.