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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Fearful (08/23/07)
Who am I, most holy Father
That you call me your very own?

I stand in the dust that formed me,
To weep for the lost of the world,
-and no one there hears me.
I stumble down streets overcrowded
With the outcast of a hate filled world,
-and no one there lifts me up.
I struggle to make my way along
Paths filled with killers and thieves
-and no one there protects me.

Who am I, most holy Father,
That you call me your most beloved?

Beaten, broken, and weak from pain,
Dragged down in the world's despair,
-and no one there comforts me.
Bent with a burden to great to bear
Life dripping on the stones below
-and no one there tends to me.
Whipped, torn, hanging in the breeze
The sin of man nailed to my heart,
-and no one there strengthens me.

Who am I, most holy Father,
That you call me fearfully made?

_______________________________________________

Matthew 3:17 (NKJ): And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.''
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This article has been read 1576 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
08/31/07
Wow, very powerful! I'd never attempt a poem in the voice of Jesus, but you've done it, and in a very compelling way.

Be careful of the difference between 'too' and 'to'.

I love how the scripture at the end answers the question put forth several times in the poem.
Rhonda Clark
08/31/07
This is very powerful. Very compelling. You did a great job showing Christ humaness.

Wonderful
Marilyn Schnepp 
09/03/07
At first reading I thought this poem was about mortal man, like me; then it seemed to be about Jesus from the referenced Scripture; but either way - it captures the mind and heart with an unanswered question. Who am I..? - lovely! Brilliantly written.
Sherrie Jackson
09/03/07
So, this is about His crucifixion? This beautiful line - "Life dripping on the stones below" - clued me in. Then I reread the piece several times; I very much see Him struggling through the streets with the cross on His back.

Wonderful use of language to convey feeling. I also like the structure of the poem(?). You said a lot with very little. Awesome job!
Joanne Sher 
09/03/07
Just LOVE the last stanza, and the first line of the second one. This was vivid and beautiful and thought-provoking.
Jacquelyn Horne
09/03/07
Well fashioned poetry. So true.
Patty Wysong
09/04/07
Wow.
This makes me stop and think, and praise Him for Who He is.
Julie Moore
09/04/07
What a wonderful poem. It's so comforting to hear the thoughts and feelings of Jesus as he died for our sins. Well written and a very interesting idea.
Dee Yoder
09/04/07
"The sin of man nailed to my heart". That's very powerful and descriptive writing. This is a beautiful poem written in the Savior's voice. I love it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
10/08/10
Wow! And again I say Wow. You write from the deepest part of your soul and have a brilliant way with words. This is just so Wow!