The Official Writing Challenge
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04/17/08
Well written dialog. Awesome father/daughter relationship protrayed. The line that grabbed me was "Ted’s heart slammed into his chest." I know that feeling and your words say it well.

Wow, tender and well done. Thanks for the peak at life with a teen. So glad they all could speak thier minds in the end.
04/17/08
Casey and her dad are going to make it! I know the pain pangs experienced with mental illness, and I hope that Casey will be free from her mother's anguish. Well-written, masterfully written.
Gripping and powerful.
04/18/08
Wow, such a heart-breaking story. It's sad that a lot of kids are afraid they'll turn out like their parent(s). :( Your ending was so sweet. I especially like your use of the repeated "pang." You've written a great story describing a father's love. Nice work!
This was really good....so sad as it is so real in so many homes, but being a daughter of a single dad, dad's can make an awesome difference. Love the ending.
04/21/08
A unique voice, since most of the time we read about the abandoned wife and child. Either way, you aptly describe the pain and suffering that goes on long after the act is done. Good job putting the reader into the pain and the reason behind the harsh opening lines of the daughter. I like the forgiveness and honesty between the dad and his daughter at the end, too.
04/21/08
Tender story--you don't often read about single, Christian dads.

I was confused at the beginning with the flashbacks; it took me a while to figure out what was now and what was then.

But once I figured it out, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
You've captured so many emotions an described the various scenes well. I didn't realize there was a scene/time shift, and had to reread to figure it out. I wonder it it would help to write the memories in the past perfect tense. Just a thought. Your story is very good on many levels, and sadly, believable, too.
04/22/08
Dynamic, emotional story with great dialogue. Great job.
A very moving story. I was really drawn in by your engaging characters. Well done!
I had no problems with the transitions in this story. It all seemed to flow nicely as I read through it.

I didn't understand your title until the end, and then it made perfect sense. This was an interesting take on the topic - a father forced to be both father and mother. You did a wonderful job of displaying the love of Jesus through the dad.

Thanks for sharing this, Laury.
04/23/08
Great descriptions and excellent dialog - just right for the conversation. Enjoyed this IMMENSELY!
Awesome Laury. I wish I had a dad like that. I didn't have any problem with the changes but maybe if you italicized them it might help.
04/24/08
touching...beautiful... wonderful!
Excellent use of that one thing everyone can relate to. That 'pang'. Wow. Nice job here, I could feel the emotions and the memories as they surfaced. Great job. ^_^
04/24/08
There should have been a tissue warning on this! Laury, this was sooooo good. Great job, my friend! Hugs!
Very tender story. Good job!