The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Grandparent(s) (04/03/08)
Dear Diary,
Mummy and Daddy left me again with Grandma. I wish they didn’t have to work so much. I wish they’d stay with me and let me cry.

Grammy, please hold me. Hold me when I cry.

Dear Diary,
Daddy says I have to stay with Grammy again because I make too much noise. Mummy’s going to have a baby. I could’ve been quieter. I hope it’s a boy. I want a brother to play Chinese checkers.

Grammy, please hold me. Hold me and let’s play Chinese checkers.

Dear Diary,
I wish I could go back home. I miss my toys, I miss my cat. I miss Daddy and Mummy. Why won’t they call and talk to me?

Grammy, please hold me. Hold me and talk to me.

Dear Diary,
Everyone says I’m so brave and so good. Mummy’s in the hospital again. I don’t want to be brave, I want to be scared.

Grammy, please hold me. Hold me when I’m scared.

Dear Diary,
Today my baby brother died. No one wants to tell me about him. I will call him William, like Daddy. I wish I knew what he looked like. Tonight is scary.

Grammy, please hold me. Hold me when the night is scary.

Dear Diary,
Today Grammy said she missed Gramps. I wish I knew Gramps too. She said he liked to laugh. I like to laugh too.

Grammy, please hold me. Hold me when you laugh.

Dear Diary,
Today Grammy said she wished she was with Gramps. I asked her where that was. She said it was with William…in heaven. Where is heaven?

Grammy, please hold me. Take me with you…to heaven.

Dear Diary,
I asked Grammy where heaven was. She said it’s in the sky, with Jesus. That’s who she talks to when she’s sad. I wonder if I could talk to him.

Grammy, please hold me. Take me with you when you talk to Jesus.

Dear Diary,
Grammy cried when I asked her to meet Jesus. She said they were happy tears. Why do people cry when they’re happy? Grammy says today will be special, 'cause I’m going to meet Jesus.

Grammy, please hold me. Take me with you…to meet Jesus.

Copyright 2008
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1984 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Christine Dunn
04/10/08
A beautiful, moving piece. So well written. I love the child's interspersed thoughts throughout.
Beth LaBuff 
04/12/08
This is very tender and poignant. I like your use of "Grammy" and "Gramps". Grandparents can truly be a blessing in the lives of children. Your story progression held my attention. You even have a great message here, too.
Joanne Sher 
04/12/08
Oh, wow! This is beautifully poetic and lovely and heartwrenching. Wonderfully done.
Laury Hubrich 
04/12/08
Very nice writing. It is very touching. So tender. Nice work!
Laury
Lyn Churchyard
04/13/08
How sad; poor little girl. She needed to be included in the event of her baby brother's death. So good that her Grammy was able to tell her about Jesus. Good work.
LauraLee Shaw
04/13/08
Dear Diary,
Everyone says I’m so brave and so good. Mummy’s in the hospital again. I don’t want to be brave, I want to be scared.
Wow, this was the voice in my head as a child. You captured the emotion of missing your Grammy perfectly, and in such a poetic way. Well done.

Debbie Wistrom
04/14/08
So much sadness here. But enjoyable in spite of it. Liked your diary approach.
Joshua Janoski
04/14/08
I liked the format of this. I used a similar one in my entry this week.

You really brought me close to the little child, and made me feel his/her emotions. I felt the sadness, the confusion, the yearning for the grandmother.

Superb writing! Thank you for sharing this.
Joy Faire Stewart
04/14/08
Beautiful job capturing the emotions of the child, very touching.
Jan Ackerson
04/14/08
Beautiful, Sara!
Mandy White
04/15/08
I love the flow of this. beautiful job!
Beckie Stewart
04/16/08
This was well written and clever. Enjoyed it.
Loren T. Lowery
04/16/08
Not everyone is able to get into the heart and mind of a child and tell it to the reader so well. Great job, truly enjoyed this emotional story.
Betty Castleberry
04/16/08
Oh, how touching. I enjoyed this tender story. Kudos.
Sheri Gordon
04/16/08
Very touching, and wonderful format. You captured a little child's emotions very well. Excellent job with the topic.
Tim Pickl
04/16/08
This one reads like an awesome Christian song.
Patty Wysong
04/17/08
The diary entries really put us in the little girl's head and emotions. Very well done--tender and touching. Huggles!
Helen Dowd
04/19/08
This is such a sad story. It breaks your heart. It is well told in diary form, and puts the point across very well. Keep up the good work. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. God bless you in your writing career. Thanks for your comment on my "Father" story....Helen