The Official Writing Challenge
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An excellent story. It shows great depth of character. Best wishes!
09/07/07
Oh, this story is just wonderful! You are right on with the way the disease shows itself in young people of college age. Good job with dialog and the manner in which Autumn displays her schizophrenia. The title fits perfectly, now that I know what the story is about!
09/08/07
Excellent job!! The dialog was real and their confusion and fear were palpable--so was Autumn's. Excellent.
Oh wow, this is powerful and very well written. When I was growing up my dad had a friend with schizophrenia.
09/11/07
This one made me tear up like almost no other story I've read here. Perfect title, and perfect illustration of the title word, with the addition of amazing compassion. I loved, loved, loved this.
Having worked with mentally ill people, this got my attention right away. You made me have compassion for Autumn, and also reminded me that we need to care for those others would abandon.
This is *very* well done.
This story could have alternate endings. I wasn't sure where you were going with it - would all Autumn's fellow students ignore her resulting in tragedy, or would she perhaps take her own life? I loved that Eldon did it Jesus' way. I have to ask myself would I have done so in his place. Really good writing!
Extremely powerful. I was not familiar with the disease, but through your subtly descriptive writing, now I am. The way you used dialog and descriptions is a perfect example of "showing not telling." The only suggestion I have is maybe break up the long paragraph toward the end. I love the ending and love his boldness in staying with her. Great writing! Kudos!!!
Love knows not boundaries! (First thought that popped into my head) This was VERY well written. I was surprised when I got to the end, I wanted to read more. Great job!
09/12/07
This was so moving. A bit close to the bone, too. My brother suffered from this disease, and his story didn't have a happy ending. We often forget about those that are locked into that horrible little cage, not knowing how much they need us. You treated this story with such sensitivity and compassion.
Powerfully written and you did a masterful job showing Eldon's emotions and how he chose to do the right thing.
Thank God for those that take time to care!
Your title is so fitting. This story demonstrates great writing ability, especially in the characterization.
09/19/07
I have a friend whose son was diagnosed with schizophrenia after years of misdiagnosises. He's very intelligent but can no longer function in life most of the time. Thank you for bringing this topic to our attention.
Laury
09/27/07
Your descriptions and storyline are excellent. Brought tears to my eyes.