The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1398 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/20/07
You've definitely got the teen personalities pegged. Great dialog, and I love the title. Great lesson, too.
10/20/07
Lots of raging hormones flying around in this piece! I loved your characters and the message too.
10/21/07
An ear-piercing whistle sliced through the arguments.

How cute is that! Very entertaining piece.
From your title I assumed this was set in the future - not too distant, perhaps, given the way things are headed - but wasn't absolutely positive until I read the word "autobot."

I love the way you showed not told in your writing of this excerpt. Through dialogue and inter-action you illustrated that human natures, especially teen distinctives, change little, whatever the culture - except perhaps for jargon. Really authentic voice and top-notch writing!
10/23/07
Good writing, authentic teen voices--but I think you needed a bit more to establish your futuristic timeline. There were just a few clues, and they'd be easily missed by a casual reader.

Great title, it really draws the reader.
10/23/07
Great pace and energy. Enjoyed it/this very much. God bless.
10/24/07
Once I realized it was a futuristic setting, the story took on an entirely new meaning. Good characterizations!
10/24/07
Yep, I liked the pace, too. Very teen-like. I'm exhausted just reading it. Great job of capturing their moods, voice, etc. Kept my attention throughout.
Sharing in Christian fellowship makes us real and puts things in true perspective. You did a wonderful job showing this.
Wow. I was hooked from the beginning. It had a mysterious feel and I wanted to know more. Very good writing. I was left with a few questions, but they weren't important for the point of the story. I just wanted a little more information. Like about the girl's china and why the mom didn't live there.

Great job. I loved the idea that the kids wanted to study the Bible since they weren't allowed to. Very clever. Excellent.
I hope this isn't our future. Good dialogue work, and an enjoyable read. Thank you.
Excellent job with dialogue... personalities came through clear. I enjoyed this writing and its message.
I like how I felt like I was in the room with this group of teens.
11/03/07
You absolutely have the teen genre mastered. Wonderful work, as always.
I know a lot of teens AND adults who should read this!Really good point! Thanks for the comment on my article. God bless you!