Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
TITLE: Oh My, Oh Me, Oh Vanity!
By Verna Cole Mitchell
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
In my black satin shirt,
When Hubby whispered in my ear,
“You need to zip your skirt.”
So proud was I of my new shoes
With heels three inches high
Till one got knocked off at the curb;
Folks laughed as I limped by.
My hair I’d combed in carefree curls,
Luxurious and full
Until the rain came suddenly
And glued them to my skull.
I walked ahead of everyone,
Impressive as could be,
And then I ran into a tree
That jumped in front of me.
While standing tall upon the stage,
I backed up to my seat,
But missed the chair, fell on the floor,
My misery complete.
So pleased with my new china cups,
I poured my guest some tea,
Then spilled the rest upon her dress,
Which so embarrassed me.
At special dinner with my spouse,
I ordered spaghetti.
I dropped it all into my lap,
And down the front of me.
So thrilled was I to sit up front
Inside the concert hall.
Alas! Out slipped an awful belch
That echoed off the wall.
While with some influential friends
I struck a haughty pose.
I took a drink of ice water
Which spewed out through my nose.
I opened up the Holy Book
And found these thoughts inside:
(And sad to say—I’ve found it true.)
Before a fall goes pride.
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