The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/20/07
I loved this. I'm not strong on poetry but it had a good feel to me, was an excellent lesson, and so visual I could see it all taking place. Great work!
04/20/07
Laughing out loud, till the tears flowed. I enjoyed the build-up to a lesson that we can take to heart. You are a gifted writer indeed!
04/21/07
Oh, how I enjoyed this. A laugh in every stanza, and a wonderful lesson as well. I loved reading the first line of each stanza and trying to "guess" how it would end. Excellent job of juxtaposing the "glamour" with the ridiculous.
04/21/07
A lesson to all of us for those moments when we think too highly of ourselves. Very funny, and oh, so true. Good work.
04/21/07
Oh this is very funny, although the rhythm is somewhat wobbly in some parts. I liked the link to the lesson on pride. Not bad.
04/22/07
What a good lesson in a fun setting! I enjoyed reading this little poem so much.

At first, I was trying to see it flowing sequentially in one big event, then decided it was several embarrassing things that happened on the character's journey from pride to humility.

The meter was a bit off in parts, but overall it was a delightful read with good rhyme scheme. Good work. Blessings, Cheri
04/23/07
Good visuals - I think it was very funny:)
04/23/07
What a great illustration of a familiar verse. Too many similar things have happened to me - thanks for the laughs. :)
Good take on humor. Nice poem. True POV.
04/24/07
Great... I loved the part about the tree jumping in front of you! Perfect ending as well!
Great job with the rhyme, the meter, and the humor.
04/24/07
I enjoyed this series of poetic mishaps.

The one stanza about the spaghetti didn't seem to quite stay in rhythm with the rest.

The one stanza I got the biggest laugh from was:

"So thrilled was I to sit up front
Inside the concert hall.
Alas! Out slipped an awful belch
That echoed off the wall."

Great lesson in this poem. Thanks for giving me a chuckle.
04/25/07
OH! loved it (and if I'd been her, would have avoided the spaghetti lol). Very nice lesson wrapped up in the laughs. You should be proud of this one ;)
04/25/07
Great visuals. Wonderful humor. I loved how you tied it into a Biblical passage. Bravo!
04/25/07
Thanks for being human...oh so human...you sound like a fun person. You should meet my wife. Thanks Good Job.
Delightful! :)
04/25/07
A poem that certainly resonates with me. Very visual with an ending that wraps it up and packs a punch. yeggy
04/26/07
This is so delightful---I could almost feel the pain of embarrassment in every experience. The Bible tells us that God laughs. I imagine the foibles of the proud are a source of some amusement for our Heavenly Father! Thank you for fun reading.