The Official Writing Challenge
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12/17/10
The end came quite quickly there with all the build up at the start. I think I ma glad that the story didn't have a predictable happy ending. The differences between Islam and Christianity are so marked.
12/19/10
This was excellent...from your creation of the setting/atmosphere to your story's progression from language dialect to sacred dialect.
12/20/10
Very Very good. Interesting beginning. Very real and relevant descriptions. The ending is foreshadowed but not predictable. This is an excellent short story. Only one tiny nit.
I have been told never to use the words 'as you know.' I have never ever heard anyone say this at any time, but you see it in poorly written sci fi all the time. Sort of goes before or after an obtrusive info dump.
Thanks for writing this. it should go very well.
Ooo, very brave of her. Well-written. My feedback would be to give us some slight idea of what accent we should be hearing in our heads, though I guess that might be difficult since it wasn't English that they were speaking....
I've been trying to come up with a word for triple-wow and just can't. So, I will say this is GREAT. TO start with your opening was superb, poetic, I'm envious. And then your story built with such momentum and power I couldn't read fast enough. And you wrote with such skill I didn't know which way the plot would turn and the ending was more than satisfactory. I don't predict winners, but if I had a blue ribbon that represented what I thought was outstanding, I'd pin it on this entry. Well done.
I have enjoyed reading your entries in the past, but I must say this one is the best I have read to date. Excellent writing! Keep it up.
Wow what an exciting story. I thought for sure when he left the room he was going to show him a cross or something to show they both had the same secret. Your ending took my breath away and is quite realistic. Great job!
Very well done!
This is an excellent story with a powerful message.
12/22/10
Ditto to what everyone else said. WOW. It is by far my favorite one so far. I hope it does well with the judges. This story has everything...intrigue, mystery, drama, faith. Exceptional.
12/24/10
Very atmospheric writing that drew me into the setting. Your work well deserves its high ranking. I was half expecting Amanda-man conversation (recycled old pun) but your ending was a real rug-puller. Very well done.
Wow! Congratulations Amanda on getting 4th place and 11th place again! This was a great story, and the ending was wonderful. Excellent job! :D