The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 542 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/14/13
Ouch indeed, I could only imagine how painful a sharp thorn in one’s eye could be. I liked this from the title to the end! A lot of well thought out detail in this story presents it in powerful mind pictures!

I love the way you took the thorn/rose theme throughout the whole story. Having the nursing home residents
“treated like thorns” instead of “roses” gave a very vivid view of their present care and an effectual understanding of how drastically Casey wanted their care to improve.

You gave strong images throughout your story of the topic “sharp”, in showing pain the sharp thorn brought to an eye, the sharp suffering of people being treated roughly and the sharp stress another person can cause another by being “a thorn in their side.”

I found this to be an interesting and entertaining read and thought the “thorn” helping Casey, get the job, instead of losing it, was another good visual. Sometimes we have to endure pain to get to something good. Great job.
03/15/13
I loved this terrific story! If I tried to give you all the reasons, I'd be plagerizing Linda's comments just above mine. She has described everything just as I would have. I've nothing more to say, except I hope the judges love this as much as I do! Very well done!
03/16/13
Realistic dialogue, clear presentation of the theme, and a good ending. Well done on the powerful imagery.
03/16/13
As usual, you have come up with a brilliant, unique, captivating story for us all to read. Spot on topic and left me wanting to know how her first day at work went.Love it. This should do well, You go girl!
03/16/13
Carrying the theme of the thorn and sharp throughout this story was very clever. Great story.
03/17/13
Your characters are drawn very credibly and you have earthed the scene very well. Like others have noted, you have strongly emphasised the roses despite the thorns, straddling this emphasis by a very absorbing intro and a conclusion with a cute twist which also carries a whimsical touch of authenticity.
The way you MC tumbles out with obviously-rehearsed answers to questions she anticipates may have telegraphed the twist, but you still withheld enough to maintain interest.

And some very minor red ink: "taking the reigns" would involve simultaneously replacing more than one king or queen - since 'reigning' is what they do for a living. "Taking the reins" does entail far less of an upheaval for a nation, its constitution and its citizens. :-(
I think this is a beautiful story. I really enjoyed the characters and thought you did a nice job of showing the conflict right up front which helps pull the reader into the story. As soon as the mysterious stranger approached and announced that she was a doctor, I was fairly sure that she would be the one with whom the interview was scheduled. Even though the ending was slightly predictable, I still enjoyed it thoroughly. I can feel your passion in your words and believe that you have a gift with working with older people. It truly is a gift and one that is needed more and more each day.
I am galloping towards that thorny age where my petals are blowing in the proverbial wind. How I wish every care facility would have your MC's incredible heart. Thank you for hope . . .
03/21/13
I enjoyed this piece very much. There is no coincidence that is not God arranged.
Congratulations on ranking 35 overall! Happy Dance!!
03/23/13
First of all, your title is beautiful. I felt as though I were taking a leisurely Sunday stroll through a tended garden. As you planted the elements of the plot patiently, proficiently, and elegantly into the soil of your story, the outcome came out 'smelling' like a rose. The chance of the two ladies meeting is what I call a 'divine' appointment with no thorns about it. Well done!
03/24/13
CD I finally got to reading it, I absolutely love it. Although when the doctor was treating
I got a little lost as to whom was speaking.