The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/31/08
Both the poem and the explanation are beautiful. I definitely empathized with this poor horse. Good job especially evoking emotion in the reader.
Very touching entry and well written...a voice for those who have no voice.
02/03/08
Your tale of this mare is beautifully written. How sad about her exploitation and how wonderful that you found her. I enjoyed reading this. Your illustration of the topic is good.
02/06/08
Beautiful poem. The topic was a bullseye hit. It also ended as an anti-topic because the real glitter that was hidden by the false glitter was once again able to shine.

RED INK: Every reader has a different opinion when it comes to good poetry, so take this only as one person's opinion.

I felt like some of the lines were forced just to make the rhyme work. Some slight revision could make them all flow smoothly. If you would like, I could PM some examples and suggestions.

Like I said, though, just one person's opinion.

The poem was wonderful anyway.
02/06/08
This gave me goosebumps and brought a tear to my eye. To think that humans can be so cruel sometimes-just to get ahead for something that someday will no longer matter. I am glad that Mare had help though and that love was able to reach her and she had a safe and caring home. Beautiful work! ^_^
This was certainly effective at evoking emotion.
02/06/08
Wow! Great poem! I can see your love of horses coming through clearly:) I'm glad this horse had someone fighting for him!
Laury
I really enjoyed this piece. Reminds me of Black Beauty.
I know this kind of abuse happens and it is appaling. No landscape is large enough to hold the love of those who care for and take the time to redeem these magnificant animals. My spirit is lifted by your joyful poem. And with that I just might give my own mare an extra carrot tonight when I feed her. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Naye, your narrative poem is perfectly delightful--a very different, but head-on example of the topic.