Homesick | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Homesick | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ellen Janson
12/07/23
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We moved to Baltimore exactly one month ago for my husband’s career. I have signed up for Bible studies, lunchroom duties and so many other events where I knew I wouldn’t know a soul. I have driven in horrible traffic to unknown places - only to find that when I step out of the car and away from my GPS, I still don’t know which way to go. I have called the same two people over and over and over again with questions because they are the only “lifeline” I have in this city.

I miss everything. I miss teachers who knew my family so well because they watched all of my boys grow up over the past 14 years. I miss the precious women in my Bible study, who nurtured me in my faith for over ten years. I miss my college aged sons being close enough to get home for a quick weekend or meet us on our way to a younger brother’s soccer tournament. I even miss the familiar faces of the clerks at the grocery store. I miss so many people who I didn’t even see that often, but when I did run into them, my heart literally lept with joy in getting to wrap my arms around them and feel their arms around me.

Sitting in the stands of my son’s soccer game, I hear so many conversations about sleepovers, baseball teams and summer plans. I see people hugging - so excited to see each other, and share how a trip went or how an aging parent is faring, or the last party they went to. Everyone is kind and polite, but I have no history with anyone. My heart hurts.

And yet, I know God has been with me through it all.

Standing in one of the largest malls in the country, I was so lonely - pleading with Him “how long, Lord? How long will it take before I just run into people I know? A year?” Literally ten minutes later a girl I’ve met and spoken with two times stops me, “Ellen?” She probably had no idea she was being used by God at that moment, but I did. She was a very kind, and almost immediate answer to a desperate plea.

Working lunchroom duty for the first time at my son’s elementary school, I had to choke back my tears. In Michigan, I had known every teacher and most children, especially the rambunctious ones. As I looked around this new noisy cafeteria, I knew not one child nor teacher, and I was, apparently, the only helper. Again, I pleaded with God, “Lord, this is so hard.” Minutes later a girl with beautiful red hair came running in expressing her apologies for being late. Turned out she had five children like me, and when I explained that we had just moved to Baltimore, she instantly threw her arms around me. By the end of the hour, she was giving me all of her contact information and promising to sign up for lunchroom duty on my next assigned day. Again, I’m sure she didn’t know she was an answer to my prayers, but I did.

My husband is out of town again. He’s been traveling so much lately, and it’s especially lonely when he’s gone over a weekend. On my morning walk, I’m again pleading with God. I’m remembering how much I enjoyed playing tennis at an indoor club with my boys on these quieter weekends when we lived in Michigan. Within five minutes of this thought, a man carrying a tennis racquet walks past me headed to the school up the street, and I am reminded that I now have a public outdoor court within walking distance of our house.

It’s going to take time for Baltimore to feel like “home”, but in just one month’s time, I have seen God’s provision so many times that I know it’s going to be ok. I just need to keep stepping out in faith, knowing that He’s got me.

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