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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Shrewdness (03/07/05)
Manar had it all. His marriage to Hadassah, the most beautiful woman on the land, had given him a handsome son. He had constructed the perfect house, an aesthetically pleasing edifice that fitted into the quaint landscape like a neat picture in a lavish drawing room. But his greatest asset was his mind. He was a modern day Solomon, who’d got his gift without asking, and his tastes were a little different from the brightest man in history. He preferred money to women, and he used the considerable powers of his wit to rake in the coins.

It had taken him over six months to convince his cancer stricken father to part with the wealth that was his brother’s privilege. Manar gave his father more company than he had ever done in his life. It was a scrupulous approach that could not fail. His father duly died and within a year Manar had three-fourths of his sizeable fortune with him. ‘Sly like a snake, humble as a dove’, he silently started commending himself every night he went to sleep; little knowing his legerdemain unconsciously fed the snake, that every swindle was a big nail on the barn door that locked the dove inside.

Then one day, many years later, tragedy struck. Manar’s son had taken to the ways of his father, without the skill or the cunning to circumvent the law. After numerous confrontations with the police, he had thought better to end his life and his misery for good. Hadassah, suffering with grief, died the following year. That left Manar with wealth that no longer held the charm it once did. His heart was so bereft of happiness, the sounds of past sins reverberated louder with each passing day in it.

Manar frantically searched for God. He would spend his days attending churches but all that the preachers implied was to ‘be like Jesus.’ Each time after a sermon he would go home and look at the mirror. He weighed himself against Jesus, the only man in history who was perfect: His walk; His speech; His posture, they was perfect. This only heightened Manar’s shallowness.

Manar walked through the streets to his destination. It was four years to the day that his son had decided to jump off a cliff one fine spring morning. Manar was heading there. Somewhere, he wanted a blinding light to knock him off his feet ala Saul of Tarsus. His head hung low, his body felt heavy and he struggled with his vision. Finally, he was there.

The drop was steep - four hundred feet of uninterrupted fall and the hard floor that, today, was going to be his portal to hell. He fell to the ground struggling with his torment. Two feet from the edge, with the devil by his side, Manar broke into one final prayer:

“I don’t know who You are or where You reside…but I know you are there. So, please listen to what I have to say today. I am a sinner by Your word and salvation is not as easy as people make it out to be. I have destroyed lives along the way, lives of people I loved. I have tricked people for money. I have taken this gift of wisdom, and used it badly.
And if it came from you then I am a bigger sinner. But I believe I should have died when my son and my wife died. My life ended there. I searched for You without finding You. But I stayed alive… so that must be for a purpose. Show it to me. Talk to me, like the days you talked to Moses, according to the Scriptures. Or that day, when a swindler like me, saw Your Son riding on a donkey and saved himself. I may not have much faith but I have enough to know that you exist and you can save me… even now…” Manar broke down bitterly.

And then a voice spoke. “Look up,” It said. Before him and at the other side of the cliff, Manar viewed a spectacular panorama. It was sumptuously crafted foliage: of myriad flowers and trees of varied sizes and hues, all done on a magically sculpted giant rock. He noticed that a river ran in the crevice, and he heard the sounds of the rustling waters and the songs of the spring birds. Right before him, he saw God’s glory. And deep in his heart, Manar’s dove flew again.
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This article has been read 1267 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sally Hanan
03/16/05
Yes, you have a great gift of writing vivid imagery.
Phyllis Inniss 
03/16/05
Your writing skills are commendable. Your imagery poetic and Manar's torment in the end is analogous to the writhing of the snake, but his calling to God in desperation heralds the appearance of the dove. I enjoyed this piece very much.
Leticia Caroccio
03/16/05
This was an excellent piece of writing. I was engrossed and taken in from the beginning. I felt Manar's pain and anguish. Who could stand in comparison to Jesus, as Manar tried to? No one can, He is incomparable. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Delores Baber
03/18/05
What a gift you have. I would love to read some of your other work. That last sentence was pure music.
Kathy Cartee
03/18/05
Wonderful, what a gift for words. this is a terrific story told with
power and very well written.
If I could vote this would surly have my vote. Well done.

Kathy
donna robinson
03/21/05
Very powerful writing