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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: ONEROUS (03/02/17)
What if you was in a spiritual battle? What if each day you dealt with hardship in your life. You can't shake the feeling and your scared. The problem seem to hard for God. The enemy is making it into a burden. You wake up every day carrying an invisible load. This spiritual battle feels like it's oppression. You try to fake happiness and smile. Deep inside you are crying for help. This is a word that describes all the emotions. Onerous a trouble and burdensome feeling. What if you have that type of spiritual battle. This type of battle requires fasting. Praying and reading your word. This is a warfare fight with your mind. You have to wake up every day with your mind on God. You have to speak life into your situation. God can fight your battles. Christ all ready took on your trials. The next time your feeling down and out. Remember your a conquer through Christ Jesus.
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This article has been read 646 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jenny Fulton 
03/10/17
Spiritual battles are certainly a part of life.

Red ink: besides checking for grammar, i think this piece could have gained from an example of a spiritual battle taking place, whether that example was a true occasion of a fictional one.
C D Swanson 
03/10/17
Spiritual battles are an ongoing process...our best weapons are our gospel armor, or which Ephesians explains so well in chapter 6.

Good message.

Blessings~
Larry Whittington
03/11/17
There are some grammar errors that will just take some reviewing of English grammar usage. To help with some of the spelling issues:don't use contractions but use both words that make up the contraction. One example is this word. "your" means "your pencil". "you're" means "you are" dropping your pencil.

Each Christian needs to examine his life compared to what you describe. If a Christian feels like the one you have described, I have provided a description of some help in the following paragraph.

The person describe in your piece may need Bible counseling. The counselor would probably start at the very beginning of the person's Christian walk. The counselor would ask about his belief in God and Jesus. He would then probe further into the persons obedience of God's commands like his repentance, his being baptized for the remission of his sin so the could receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38). The counselor may then widen the questioning about his continued faithfulness to God's commands. The counselor is looking for the underlying causes the the feelings exhibited in you piece. Each Christian person needs to grow to the place where they can say "thy will be done" in each situation they face.

Keep your heart in heaven and your eyes in God's word.
Phillip Cimei
03/11/17
You had some very good points. I could tell it came from your heart. Dialogue would have given it life. Take your time when writing. Recheck and recheck your grammar. I personally struggle a lot with grammar. I have a master's degree in education, but a minor in math. It takes discipline and determination. Plus, you have so many Christian friends on FaithWriters to help you. So much help on the forum site. Hope to see more of your writing. God bless.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/14/17
You have a great foundation here. You make some great points. The first thing I might suggest is to switch from universal you (2nd person)to a more personable first person POV (I, me). You could even do third person (him or her) if that makes you more comfortable. Don't be afraid to show nervousness (pacing, biting fingernails, licking lips, stuttering) or even anger (red face, spit spraying, balling fist, pounding on table). These body languages along with dialog and thoughts will pull the reader into the story. You have some great ideas. I'd like to challenge you to read and leave constructive comments (it could just be what you like) on at least 3 challenges each day on each level. The more you read and leave comments in that way, the more you will figure out how to write in different ways.I think you have the talent or I wouldn't challenge you. I look forward to watching your writing bloom.