Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)
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TITLE: Reflections | Previous Challenge Entry
By Paul Potenza
11/15/05 -
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Short gray days and long cold nights are the hallmark of the season. It’s easy to be depressed. You go to work in the dark and come home in the dark and you wonder if you’re a mole. If the sun comes out at all, YOU couldn’t swear to it in a court of law.
The holidays make things better because there’s Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s, all peppering you with feelings of good will, and Auld Lang Syne, but all in all you’d rather be in the Bahamas. Especially through January, February and March when it seems like you’re trudging through slush in a daily battle that you’re not going to win.
And then one Saturday morning, when you’re miserable with cold, it happens. You step outside to let the dog take a leak and it’s there.
The air catches you just right and snatches your breath. The sun glints blindingly on the hard snow. There’s a light scent of pine in the air like a ladies perfume in a crowded restaurant that makes your head turn to see if you can catch it again.
And your day is better.
You suddenly realize that someone provided the cold and dreariness, so that you could appreciate the warmth and light.
The dog is done, so you step back inside and you notice that your wife looks EXTREMELY pretty in her sweats, with her hair all frizzy from being cuddled under a big comforter all night. She’s singing quietly to herself while she makes bacon and eggs for her old grouse of a husband who seems to have been in a bad mood for so long. She wonders if it’s something that she’s done.
Right there you make a pledge to NEVER make her wonder about that again. You sweep her into your arms (causing her to drop an egg) and kiss her right into her soul. (And then YOU clean up the egg.)
A few minutes later, you stand on the back porch with her little hand engulfed in your big old ugly paw. She’s wearing your old varsity letter jacket over her sweats. (She never looked better.) The dog is sniffing cheerfully away at the snow.
Winter has become your friend.
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The phrase about the dog taking a leak was the only tiny thing that appeared a bit harsh in this jewel of an article. Maybe it could have been stated "do his business", "take his morning constitutional", I don't know.
I loved the pictures of the paragraph that begins "The air catches you just right and snatches your breath", and then all the way to the end. The last sentence "Winter has become your friend" is a perfect conclusion to this article. Thank you for sharing.
The taking a leak was also something I'd agree was too harsh for the flow of the piece. (I personally don't like the phrase, seems so crude.)
What I really loved was the line about kissing her into her soul and the husband cleaning up the egg! Seeing her as pretty in her sweats and frizzy hair was nice too, I could relate to that. :)
Overall, nice entry. You made me picture the couple in the scene. Good job!
”Short gray days and long cold nights are the hallmark of the season.” “The holidays make things better because there’s Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s, all peppering you with feelings of good will, and Auld Lang Syne,” “Winter has become your friend.”
Well Written. Thanks for sharing. Helen