Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write something in the YOUNG ADULT or TEEN genre (06/07/07)
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TITLE: Faith Unending | Previous Challenge Entry
By Lindsey Conrad
06/11/07 -
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I stared at the page. How many times had I written in this thing? I glanced over at the stack. This was just one of many journals detailing my life; at times I wondered what I had ever found interesting enough to fill all those pages. Tears burned my eyes, then the inevitable frustration. I was not some girly-girl. Prone to emotions and drama. I was a jock. Soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, and softball in the spring. It had been my routine for years. I had been on every varsity team for my schools, junior high and high school, and my walls were lined with awards, both in academics and sports. So why this constant need to write in my journal? I knew, but always hated the reason.
A tear dripped onto the blank page. I wiped it away and then quickly grabbed a tissue. I didn’t want my eyes all puffy. My mom would know, she always knew. Then came the inescapable conversation about why I had been crying. I would try to hide the fact, but I had never been a good liar. And then she would always hug me and say, “Oh hunny, don’t worry, they will figure it out some day.” I can’t count how many times I had heard those same words over and over again. “The right guy will love you for who you are. Don’t worry. God has someone special picked out for you.” There is was again. ‘God has someone picked out for you.’ I believed in Him, but did He really have time to find a guy, one single guy out of the billions of guys out there that was meant for me? I bit my lip. Doubt seemed unavoidable whenever I thought of that. I had heard the stories, read all the books. Some encouraged group dating, others complete separation until you were old enough to marry, mostly they had served to confuse me all the more.
I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. “When God? When will you bring him into my life? I have waited, I have prayed, but I fear my patience is gone. Do I change? Or is there something I am supposed to be learning? Please, just one answer that is all I need!”
The silence shrouded around me. Skepticism permeated my thoughts. Angrily I pushed it away, reminding myself that faith was about more then just getting what you wanted. But oh, how much longer would I yearn for love? The picture of the knight waiting to rescue me was such a desirable illusion. But when? Whom? Those were the questions that continued to go unanswered, causing pain, tears and inevitably more journaling.
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