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Topic: Home (01/09/06)
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TITLE: Go, And Sin No More | Previous Challenge Entry
By RACHEL COYLE
01/15/06 -
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“What am I doing?” she asked herself. “Am I really willing to throw away eight years of marriage? What will this do to my children? How did I get to this point?” When she first signed onto the Internet chat room six months ago, she never dreamed that it would end up like this.
Lori thought about the past year. Her marriage had grown dull to her; she began to find fault with her husband and her children. She felt like she needed to escape. Knowing that her friends would not understand her complaints, she decided to talk to someone online. Lori thought that it would allow her to get her frustrations out in a harmless way, since she would not know the people whom she talked with, nor would they know her.
Three weeks into it, she met Bill. He was so gracious. He was mysterious and interesting. Most importantly, Bill wanted to listen to her—as much as one can do so over the Internet. She convinced herself that Bill really cared about her, unlike her husband Steve.
So, over time, Lori began opening up more and more with Bill, while becoming increasingly distant with Steve. Steve tried to ask Lori why she was not talking to him, but her only answer was that he didn’t want to hear what she had to say anyway (brashly said, no doubt). Of course, that did not go over well. It drove Steve away. But, after Lori met Bill, that was her secret intention anyway.
They made plans to meet, which was something Lori swore she would never do that first day she entered the chat room. But she finally yielded to her emotions, abandoning reason and wisdom. Now she questioned if she had ever known true wisdom.
Here she sat in the hotel lobby, Bill’s room number in hand. The choice was up to her. Something in her wanted to run away. Whatever it was made her sick to her stomach.
“Oh, God, what am I doing?” Lori cried out aloud. Her body began to tremble. She dropped to her knees, a cascade of tears on her face. A verse she never realized she had memorized came to her just then. It was John 8:12, Jesus speaking to the woman caught in adultery. Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and sin no more.”
Lori felt as if the Lord was saying that directly to her at that moment. “Thank You, Lord. I will do as You say,” she prayed silently, though sobs betrayed her. “Forgive me—please forgive me. How did I allow myself to get so deep into sin? Thank You for not letting me go through with this, Lord Jesus. Help me now. . .”
Lori knew she had to get out of there immediately, and there was only one place she would go: home. Home to her husband, who, in reality, had faithfully stood by her while she chose to play with the fire of sin. Home to her children, who needed an example they could follow, not one to avoid. Home to her Lord, who was grieved the most by her sin and waited with outstretched arms for her to repent.
Repent she did. She tore the napkin she had held in her hand, tossed it into a nearby trashcan, and quickly went to her car, praying all the way. She thanked God that He spared her from having to learn a lesson in an even more difficult way, and asked that God would prepare Steve for what he was about to hear from her. She asked for strength to speak the truth to him and seek his forgiveness. She would not allow a single thought about Bill to enter her mind.
And then she went home.
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