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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: PHONE (11/10/16)
“Put that phone down and pay attention to your child!” I smiled and lowered my eyes as I heard the grandmother admonish her daughter in the pediatric waiting room. I was sitting with my own granddaughter waiting for her to get her five-year shots. The grandmother and mother sitting next to me were there with a child my granddaughters age. The child was trying her best to get her mother’s attention away from a cell phone and her mother barely noticed.
I had said this exact phrase to my own daughter many times lately, she seemed obsessed with her cell phone and carried it around in her pocket. As grandmothers, we always think that we know what is best and we forget that we were not perfect in our day. We didn’t have cell phones to keep us occupied, but we had magazines, television, and books. I remember telling my children not to come back in the living room to disturb me again unless there was blood and guts in sight. Of course, that was much different! I had fed them, broken up arguments over Barbie’s, begged them to use indoor voices, and was sorely in need of a few moments of peace and quiet.
We forget that being a mother 24 hours a day, seven days a week is stressful. My daughter is a wonderful mother. She is consistent with rules, she is teaching her child to obey Jesus and to seek His guidance, and I have yet to see my grandchild hungry or dirty. So, why do I find fault in her cell phone obsession? Mainly because it reminds me of the blood and guts I told my own children about. It is easy to forget the long days we spent as moms when we become “grand moms”.
After our doctors visit and a red lollypop sent us home, I got out my cell phone and called my daughter at work. She needed to know that she is the best mom, and I needed to tell her that I thought so. Lifting her up instead of tearing her down felt good and I resolved to do more of this in the future.
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This article has been read 532 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Larry Whittington
11/18/16
The short personal incident was easy to read. It flowed nicely.

There were two areas (at least) that gave me something to think about for my own life. Do I examine my self when I see others do something I don't appreciate? And do I encourage others even when I know they are doing well. These two things jumped out at me to remind me to always be looking at myself and learn.

Good encouragement to others even if it wasn't written for that purpose.
Noel Mitaxa 
11/20/16
It's always interesting to hear others using the phrases and tones of our own speech, and you have captured that sense very well.
Your style is warm and very readable. But even a short story like this needs para breaks: after "child."; noticed.; quiet.; and "grand moms."
These breaks would enhance your readability - and keep your future, longer entries from becoming slabs of print that could dull their impact.
Toni Babcock 
11/21/16
An engaging slice-of-life story many can relate to - thanks for sharing. I agree that paragraph breaks would enhance the reading experience.
Marshall V Pierce
11/22/16
Short, sweet, and meaningful! As a parent (and new grandparent) I can relate!
Bonnie Bowden 
11/24/16
I agree that everyone could use some encouragement! Your piece had an easy conversational flow to it.

Please double space between paragraphs; my older eyes had trouble reading it.