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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Vines (11/21/05)
Title: The wages of arrogance
Topic: Vines
Sue and Jim moved into the other side of her grandpa’s duplex. What a noble gesture; he was growing in years and being a widower, it just made sense to keep him company while they built their new home. He was a frequent unexpected visitor at times, but they didn’t seem to mind.
He was a man set in his ways, and she was a woman from the same stock. The house was located in the ghetto near the west end of town. In its earlier years it was a cozy bungalow, but in her estimation nothing shy of a bulldozer could do this home any justice. She looked out her small kitchen window each morning longing to see green grass or the leaves of a tree waving in the breeze, but instead the picture view of an old abandon glass factory plastered the canopy of the sky. The best that she could hope to see were a few clouds peering over the dilapidated structure.
She was determined to make the best of the time she was spending with her grandpa in his late years. Taking a wide push broom she marched outside to the sidewalk and was set on cleaning up the appearance of her new home. The neighbors giggled to themselves as they watched her go as far as to sweep the street that had paper and debris scattered everywhere. She sighed and kept on sweeping hoping that they too would take pride in their surroundings. She stepped back from the house to get a good picture and muttered,
”What does this old house need? Well, a new front porch step would be nice. A few shrubs and flowers couldn’t hurt. Oh…these vines gotta go!”
The vines over ran the entire outside walls of the house which looked more like seaweed in her mind but were an old friend to grandpa. He took great pride in those vines as they clung with a death grip to that old brick house. She was anxious to get a tool and start hacking the great monstrosity down. But the hour was late and a chill was in the air so she went inside to tell him of her ingenious plan. She was startled at his reaction when he jumped up from his recliner and shouted,”YOU MUST NEVER CUT THOSE VINES. They have been here for many years. I enjoy them, NEVER cut them down.” She was taken back by his abrupt shouts of emotion, but dismissed them as old age and she felt that she knew best. In her arrogance she convinced herself that all she wanted to do was to improve the looks of the house.
The next morning she arose early to tackle the job in spite of grandpa’s wishes. She worked feverishly on the front of the duplex. With such zeal and anticipation she couldn’t wait until grandpa saw how nice it looked. She was right all along… she thought to herself…”What more could he ask for?” She felt like she had just accomplished a job well done…,”Not to mention the time it took to do the job and how difficult it was to pull and cut them” she murmured to herself trying to justify her defiance to him. “Awh, it will be alright. It looks clean!”
He was due to come home soon and she wanted it to be a big surprise. So she quickly put away her tools and ran inside, trying to peer out the window at his response. He got out of the car and looked up at the naked exterior walls where once cascading vines draped over his domain. A perfect picturesque view that graced his memory from years gone by was now savagely ripped from him. It was a violation of magnitude proportions. Anger gripped his soul as he laid hold of the cast iron railing. Then he bowed his head and cried. She was astounded at his response. A lump swelled in her throat. He wasn’t pleased at all. He was hurting deep inside. Remorse came over her. Her selfish arrogant attitude just didn’t seem to have the same strength and will power anymore. Pity and heartache pierced her deep. “What have I done?” she cried as she ran to him and humbly apologized for the disrespect and pain she’d caused. She vowed to never discredit the thoughts or intent of an individual, placing her own pride above another.
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This article has been read 801 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nina Phillips
11/28/05
That was really sad. I see the point of your title shining through your story. Spacing paragraphs help make the story more enjoyable to read though. God bless ya, littlelight
Allison Millward
11/30/05
It was a wonderful message..we can all think we are doing the best for someone..but unless we know their feelings on the thing we should not do, we need to err on the side of caution. Yes, paragraphs would benefit the story..and I felt the ending ended kind of abruptly..since there was a hint that there was more to the vines than mear pleasure for this man..and his reaction seemed to hint at it too. Fine piece of writing.
Andria Cook
12/02/05
I feel this story has a lot of potential. It must have been hard to write with such a short word count limit. Explore this piece more. Avoid the "happily ever after" ending and try exploring a revelation through his eyes. She got a glimpse from his tears, but she can't possibly understand what they represent.

Good luck on this piece, I feel you should explore it further.