The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved the consternation that Harry's imminent arrival brought into Dolly's life. This was really well described. My main quibble is that your story lacks some local colour to root it firmly in Guyana. I felt as if what was being described could have taken place just as easily in some small town in the US. What I needed were some descriptive passages to help me taste or feel or touch Guyana. Perhaps the food or the weather or the clothing or the housing - let your imagination (and your research) run riot. Nevertheless an enjoyable read.