My Cup | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: My Cup | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kim VanVelzen
11/03/07
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I hear my name. Someone is calling me. At first I didn't know who was calling me. When I recognized His voice, I wasn't sure why He was calling me.

Me. Why? Who am I? Who am I that He, would call me? How does He know my name?

He has called me to Him. He is offering a cup. The cup filled with eternal life. No guarantees. Only choices. Choices of accepting or walking away.

I confess, in the last few years, if I could have seen into the depth of this cup. I don't know if I would have so readily accepted it.

The pain, suffering, hurts,and the doubts were hiding just below the surface. I understand about the suffering for His name. Being called. The gift He has offered to me. Only I didn't see the darkness for His light was so bright.

From the depths of darkness, the depression, suicide attempts, strikes in the work place, job changes, daily verbal attacks, lack of trust. All blended with an emotional roller coaster. This is my home.

I have been called, given eternal life, and so much more. I shed His light in the dark corners of my home, and places He brings me to. I am to share His love, His hope, His words spoken so many years ago, to share His words spoken only a few moments ago.

I walk, humbled, that He called me. I am a vessel to share His message with those around me, and those He lovingly places upon my path. I choose to offer. I offer Him.

Yes, as recent as yesterday, I have whined, complained, and even wanted to run and hide. Surely there is someone else you can call upon, Lord? Surely someone else has the gifting or talents needed? Surely there is someone who isn't as flawed or scared, as me? I have been known to loosen my belt, my helmet slipping backwards, dropping my sheild, losing my sword,and just carrying my shoes, as I limped off the battlefield of life.

Then I hear His voice. "Let's look in this cup together. What else do you see?" It's as if the darkness recedes, just a bit, and I can see a little clearer. I see hope, strength, tears of joy, answered prayers, small victories, comfort, peace, friends standing with me, and Jesus beside me.

I am called. I am a wife, who will not let go, for her husband. I am a mother, who will not let go, for her sons. I am a friend, who will not let go, for her friends. I am a child of God, who will not let go, of me for His children.

So ,as I stand before you today, my armor, God has fitted, fixed, and replaced for me. I stand on the frontline of life and I drink.

It doesn't matter if I sip it cautiously, one day or drink it deeply the next.

It doesn't matter, as long as I drink. Knowing that matters to Him.

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