The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Ahhhh, a safe haven! These communities DO exist, don't they?
Well, aren't I just a barefoot blonde in Texas! Of course this is a FUTURE community! Takes some of us a read or two.....well, probably just me. Very creative. :)
Great job of implying a back story in this little futuristic entry. Intriguing characters, too.

There are some errors in punctuation and capitalization that are mildly distracting, but should be easy enough to edit with a bit of rule study.

I enjoyed this little sci-fi story, and it seems like the beginnings of a longer piece.
This blonde from Michigan also had a little trouble, but after the third read (just kididng).... Not my type of reading but it was greatly written. I loved how you pulled Paul into the end of the story. Great job!
A lovely and evocative story. I really enjoyed reading this. Your description of the stranger was quite good.