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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
Celestial FM

Tony
Good morning, and welcome to ‘The Pearly Morning News,’ brought to you from the
heart of the Heavenly City. I’m Tony Davidson, your host.
Let’s start the morning with a weather check. How’s it looking, Jennifer?

Jennifer
Good morning, Tony. Well, from my vantage point at Mount Zion Weather Centre I can
tell you it’s going to be another glorious day. But then you knew that, didn’t you?
Just a few cirrostratus in the sky. But then there’s no sun to block out, is there? A gentle south-westerly breeze will make it a pleasant day for us all.

Tony
Thank you, Jennifer.Well now, we have a treat for you folks today. Some very special
interviews, and some very special guest stars. But first, a message from our sponsors…

Voice
Feel like you’ve been brushing your teeth for ever? Keep that eternal smile pearly white. Use Duragrin toothpaste. Guaranteed in perpetuity.

Tony
Welcome back to ‘The Pearly Morning News’ with me, Tony Davidson.
Now, think back to when you arrived here. That glorious scent that first greeted you. Wishing your shroud had had a pocket for your sunglasses. Those wonderful reunions. Well, today we are asking: who were you most surprised to see when you arrived? And to answer that question, our first guest today is Abraham. Sir, let me tell you this is an honour.

Abraham
Well, thank you Tony. It’s a pleasure to be here today. Although I’m afraid journalism is not what it was.

Tony
How’s that?

Abraham
Well, in my day we were informed of events in advance. The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, for instance. I didn’t have to wait until the next day to read about it in the papers. I was informed by a special messenger beforehand.

Tony
Hmmm… moving swiftly on. When you arrived here, who were you most surprised to see?

Abraham
Well, Tony, I was astonished to see some of the descendents of my first son, Ishmael.

Tony
That would be the Arabs?

Abraham
Correct. You see, my having Ishmael was all a horrible mistake. God told me that all his promises would come true through my second son, Isaac. His descendents were God’s chosen people.

Tony
I can see why you were surprised.

Abraham
Yes – I hadn’t realised God would be grafting people into his family – even from old Ishmael’s lot. But it’s good to know that he could even redeem a stupid mistake like mine.

Tony
Well, thank you for that interesting perspective. We come now to our next guest – Ian Paisley. Dr Paisley – I’m delighted to have you here.

Paisley
Och, just call me Ian, Tony. No titles or crowns here, eh?

Tony
Well, if you insist. So, the big question – who were you most surprised to see when you arrived?

Paisley
Tony, it was my good friend the Pope. I’m afraid we didn’t see eye to eye on some things before, and I’m scunnered to say I called him some pretty bad names in my time. So yes, I was surprised to be welcomed by him. Just shows how much we all had to learn back then.

Tony
Well, thank you Ian. I reckon we’ve all wised up since those days.
Now, I have here some of the answers that you’ve been phoning in. Let me see… George in New Adelaide says, ‘My father’. Well, praise the Lord for that! Flora in New New Jersey has phoned to say, ‘people who drink alcohol.’ Yes Flora – I think that one caught a lot of us out.
Now, we come to our final guest, and let me tell you folks, I’m really excited. The man who knew the mind of God better than any other person. The man who wrote half of the New Testament. I’m speaking, of course, of the apostle Paul! Welcome, sir.

Paul
Thank you, Tony. I’m pleased to be here today.

Tony
No, we’re honoured; I gather your speaking schedule is pretty tight. So, tell us – who were you most
surprised to find when you came through those pearly gates for the first time? Or perhaps for you there were no surprises?

Paul
Oh no – there’s one person here that I’m still amazed to find in the Heavenly City… Me, of course.

Tony
But…

Paul
Being the greatest of sinners, and all that.

Tony
Well, there’s always a surprise on ‘The Pearly Morning News.’ Thank you to all our guest stars.
Coming next – delicious recipes for the fruit of life. But first, the headlines…
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This article has been read 1481 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
04/19/07
You've tapped directly into things that I've speculated about--who we'll be surprised to see. I'm sure there will be some even more shocking than the ones you've listed here! I got a real kick out of this, and I appreciated the "greatest of sinners" bit at the end. Nicely done.
TJ Nickel
04/20/07
I loved the message, the format, and the guts to attempt this concept for humor. I tried something similar and had to scratch it. Nice to see how it could've been pulled off. I got a few good laughs out of it too.
Julie Arduini
04/20/07
Very creative! The line from Paul was great. Nicely done!
Joyce Samuel
04/21/07
Interesting. I totally identify with Paul. I'd probably be too amazed to find myself in the heavenly city to be surprised about anyone else's presence! Let's just keep an open mind about the people we meet. You never can tell who's mansion will be next to yours in heaven. Not bad, even though it didn't have me shaking with laughter.
Sheri Gordon
04/22/07
Very interesting, and a nice subtle use of humor. Good writing.
Val Clark
04/22/07
Smiled all the way through this one. Fav line: 'people who drink alcohol.’ Yes Flora – I think that one caught a lot of us out.' Paisley and the Pope! Precious. yeggy
Rita Garcia
04/24/07
"Being the greatest of sinners." Wonderful message, delivered with a smile!
Shari Armstrong 
04/25/07
Cute - and I like the answers given - who knew? goes to show we don't know and how we have to keep sharing, because we never know what we say or do might help someone else get there :)
Verna Cole Mitchell 
04/26/07
Excellent entry! I imagine that we all have some interesting surprises in story for us!