The Official Writing Challenge
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08/21/08
Poor Willy. I felt his frustration--being stuck inside when all he wanted was to play ball. Good descriptions of the boys and cute story.
08/21/08
Fun descriptions and sweet story. I did catch a tense shift in one spot, but otherwise this was great!
I may be only a beginner, but I liked it, alot! Really caught the energetic frustrations of young boyhood.
08/22/08
Oh sauerkrauts! Too funny. Nice job!
08/23/08
You got the topic nailed! A great story, and I love Willy. :)
Your character development was great. I loved Willy.
08/25/08
Loved all the creative verbs in this story! What a vivid and perfect description of a young boy under "carroteen." Nice work. Blessings, Cheri
Are you a mother of sons, by any chance? You characterized these boys so perfectly. Loved the entire story. Just a reminder to watch your tenses. It switched back and forth a few times.
08/27/08
Great title (I love your new word "carroteened") … so fun! I could just see the "dirty sock carpeted floor". :) That Jake was quite a scoundrel. I enjoyed the yellow jacket scene… almost what he deserved. Having known quite a few kids, your story is very believable!
08/27/08
Love this, from clever title to end. Unfortunately, that sock pile could be mine at times. Great characterization in an entertaining story. Well done.
08/27/08
Very cute! You must have boys. This sounds so much like an eight or nine year old boy, and their reaction to being shut in....Oh, you captured this so well. It was enjoyable all the way through. Loved the ending....Good writing....Helen