The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 944 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow this was a tearjerker, ~ I think part of the reason that it hit me so hard is it could very well be a real experience that took place over 100 years ago or even happening in several places in the world today.
The ending was a little abrupt but if you had more words I believe you have the talent to really pack a punch at the end.

Your characters were so real and the dialog believable. The despair of both MCs was palpable. I do like that Ben was able to find some hope and peace. I pray that every soldier and their families find that peace.
07/17/11
You have shown peace that passes all understanding given in such a sad and shameful and bitter time in history, but it only shows that peace can come to any of us in any situation, if we only embrace that God given peace, instead of bitterness. This story was both heartbreaking and joyful in its realism. Good job.
Wow! That was gripping! My folks used to tell me about the poverty and severity of the Great Depression so I had a feel for this writing. There was so much despair during the war so long ago that you wonder why many more didn't die. The scars were deep, as your article shows so brilliantly.
Your sad story really makes me stop to think of the sacrifices that are made by soldiers and their families. You painted a dismal picture, but I am glad you showed the peace that God grants.
07/19/11
So sad. The last paragraph is a necessary ending because God always does give peace...even if it isn't always the kind we want. Well done.
07/19/11
Carole, your story truly shows that our freedoms were bought with such pain and sacrifice.
Heartwrenching. The first few paragraphs remind me of reading Gone With the Wind. The change in MC's was confusing for me - I had to go back and see what I missed - who was Becky? I thought Ben was the last surviving child. On the second read it became more clear. Great entry with tons of emotion clearly coming through in your writing. The ending was awesome.
07/20/11
Deeply heart-wrenching treatment of a topic we (thankfully) know little about. Like a couple of others, I also missed the bridge to the husband's homecoming and did not realise that it was his voice coming through. Apart from that small signposting mishap, it is a very thought-provoking read.
07/20/11
Oh man, so sad. Very, very sad...