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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Outlook (06/02/11)
If I could live my life again
I would change:
A childhood marred by a casual carelessness
Sullied by selfishness at its centre
With broken boundaries blasted into oblivion
And become:
A youngster yearning and learning to comply
Diffusing difficult differences by diffidence
A child conferring a consolation to its carers

If I could live my life again
I would change:
The years and tears of youthful squandering
Wandering and following things with evasive wings
Things misspent, with strength scattered and spoilt
And become:
A Meaningful being! Learning to lean on lasting things
Things that bring a brighter outlook
With a new beginning and better views ahead

If I could live my life again
I would change:
Wasted and worn-out wishes that got washed away
Fame and fortune that filter through faltering fingers
A lost soul - lumbering to lift up a leadened weighted life
And become:
The giver of gifts, with gestures for the common good
A soul seeking solace through selfless service
And satisfaction sought and bought by love in action

If I could live my life again
I would change:
The regretting and fretting for the failure to fulfil
The wasted years and the fears of a forlorn future
The short time left to leave a legacy of a loving life
And become:
Satisfied at a long life lived and early lessons learnt
At peace with a Maker who motivates and gives life meaning
And a benediction to a life that has been beneficial and beautiful

Alas! One only gets one shot and I'm no marksman. So even with life's second tries (if left to my own devices) I'd probably miss again.
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This article has been read 1176 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Kim Hamlin
06/10/11
Love it! Your alliteration is superb.
Leola Ogle
06/11/11
Loved this! Like your MC, if I had the chance again, I'd undoubtedly miss the mark also! Good job! God bless!
Linda Goergen
06/11/11
Great job on this poem, your alliteration flows really well with topic without feeling forced – (I would suggest though, possibly omitting the capital beginning each line)

The message of your poem so true, as I think most people, after salvation, truly regret that they did not serve the Lord sooner! And yes, without the knowledge we now have, most would again miss the mark in a life do-over! And even with the knowledge we now have, it would be a tough shot! LOL

Great reminder that we need to do the best with the one-shot life gives us, not dwell on past failures but, each new day, concentrate on Godly fulfillment!!

Great job showing the challenge word, writing well done!
Joe Moreland
06/12/11
I like this a lot. And though you say over, and over "if i could live my life over again", I think the message is that we can't and if we could we'd probably still mess things up - but guess what? God doesn't dwell on the past and neither should we. He is the God of "right here, right now". If we come to him now, that's good enough for him.

At least that's what I got out of it. :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/13/11
This is is something almost everyone can relate to, I know when my mom died suddenly at age 57 I wished for a do-over to warn her that the blood vessels in her head were about to rupture. I often think how different my life would be if she were still here. But then I'm gently reminded to live in today. You did a me job reminding me to look forward.
Sarah Elisabeth
06/13/11
Nice! The ending was poignant
Patricia Protzman
06/13/11
Great poem to remind us we only have once chance in this life and to make it count. I had a tough time dealing with my Dad's sudden death eleven years ago. If only I had been there. . . If only I had made him go to the doctor the last time I saw him. . . If only.

However, God is Sovereign and He knows best. Your poem also reminds me of Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who have been called according to his purpose. . ."
Noel Mitaxa 
06/14/11
Very wistful stuff here, and I love that line about only getting one shot and not being a marksman.
Rachel Phelps
06/14/11
Your final lines solidify the whole work. Excellent work and write on topic!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
06/14/11
My mother often said, "If wishes were horses, beggars could ride," but that doesn't keep us from wishing we could change the past. You said it eloquently.
Edmond Ng
06/15/11
A well written piece with regrets written all over it, yet with hope in knowing what's right and the need to lean on lasting things. We may not be able to change the past, but we can have second or third tries with God as Lord of our lives to ensure we'll never miss again. God bless.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/17/11
Congratulations for placing 7th in advanced and 23 overall!