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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write something in the YOUNG ADULT or TEEN genre (06/07/07)
February 23, 2001

Dear Diary,

Mom and Dad are fighting again. Do they actually think that I can’t hear them from my bedroom? Do they assume I’ll sleep right through it?

They can’t even stop fighting for one day. Not even for my sixteenth birthday! The day went pretty well, but I should have known they couldn’t keep up the front for long. I should have known it couldn’t end in anything other than a fight…

At least youth group was fun. Jake was there. I was even able to carry on a short conversation with him, without making a total fool of myself.

………………………………………………………

April 17, 2001

Dear Diary,

Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! OH, MY GOODNESS!!!!!

Jake asked me out!!!!!!!!!!

That smokin’ hunk of manliness walked me to my car after youth group and asked if I’d like to see a movie with him on Friday. It was all I could do not to jump up and down and scream for joy.

I’m going to meet him at the theater on Friday. Mom and Dad think I’m seeing a movie with Kathleen. It’s not that they said I couldn’t date, it’s just…well, I don’t want them to know. I’m not sure why.

Besides, they probably wouldn’t care. They have enough of their own problems.

………………………………………………………

May 9, 2001

Dear Diary,

My parents are getting a divorce.

I’m not surprised. I knew this was coming. Maybe it’s even for the better…but it still hurts. They told me, “This marriage was a mistake.” If their marriage was a mistake, does that make me a mistake, too?

Jake met me at the park just down the street. He held me while I cried. It felt so right to be held in his strong arms. Like I belong there.

It’s nice to know someone loves me.

………………………………………………………

July 31, 2001

Diary,

I’m not a virgin anymore.

It all happened so quickly. One minute we were just sitting on the couch in my basement, watching a movie…the next…

After…it…happened, we were both kinda embarrassed. Jake left and I just sat in the corner of couch, hugging my knees, and cried a little.

I was scared and I don’t really know why. At the moment, it was exciting and it seemed almost…natural. After all, isn’t that what people in love do? But when it was all over, all I could think about was how Pastor Rick’s wife had told us that sex was for marriage only. I had always assumed I’d be a virgin on my wedding night, but I’d never really thought about it.

Now I feel guilty. And I still don’t know why. What’s the big deal about being a virgin when you get married, anyway?

And I’m still scared. It was just one time. Surely, that can’t be enough to…you know?

………………………………………………………

June 1, 2007

Dear Old Friend,

It’s certainly been a long time. Soon after that night so long ago, I lost this little diary. I didn’t get pregnant. I found a note taped to my window three days later that simply read, “I’m sorry.” Jake stopped coming to youth group after that and I didn’t hear from him again.

I knew I could never forget about what we did, but I tried to nonetheless. Even to this day it sits in the attic of my mind, a dark little secret draped in black cloth and hidden in a little heart-shaped chest, buried beneath all the clutter of life.

I’ve only let one person open that little chest: my fiancé. Yes, dearest diary, I’m engaged. My wedding is tomorrow.

I used to wonder “what’s the big deal about being a virgin when you get married?”

Now, I think I know.

At birth, God gives you the bright shining gift of purity. You can keep or give it away as you choose. But once it has been given, it cannot be bought back, for all the riches of this world. Oh, that I could present that gift to my husband on our wedding night! Instead, I will come to bed haunted by that little chest in the attic.

I have forgiven Jake for his part so long ago. And I know that both God and my fiancé have forgiven me. But I have yet to forgive myself.






*Love suffers long and is kind…does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4,6-8 (NKJV)*
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This article has been read 1344 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Kristen Hester
06/15/07
Wow. This is very moving and powerful. I felt all the girl's emotions and feelings. A teen could really relate to this. Hopefully, they would look ahead to your last entry and think before acting. It's a painful mistake as she says...even if no one gets pregnant. Nice writing. Good job.
Joanne Sher 
06/15/07
Oh, just EXCELLENT! This was absolutely authentic, and a message that needs to be heard. You told it SO well. This is an awesome lesson for teens AND parents. You did a great job with the voice especially - you changed it just enough in the last entry to make it believable as an older, wiser version of the earlier ones, but still enough to believe it is the same person.
TJ Nickel
06/15/07
Like the diary entry format, it is creative and very appealing to the readers for YA. Nice problem and character introductions in
the beginning. Very real transition in entries 2, 3, & 4. The last entry is very good, but I think suffers from a bit of a perspective issue. I'd suggest writing directly to the diary;
instead of "I lost this little diary", "I lost you."
The verse at the end is well chosen. Overall, what a great piece of writing - very well done. I like best that you didn't back down to the issue and used the right amount of reality and detail.
Sara Harricharan
06/15/07
Wow! This is powerful! I like the voice you used to tell it. It's painfully real for too many people I know. The last diary entry was especially poignant, the reflecting on the past and the last verse on the end. The one word title is good, it fits and so does this story. Awesome writing!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
06/15/07
This is an excellent story. I especially like the idea of purity as a gift God gives you at birth. Wow! Not a very popular idea today, but true, nonetheless.
Benjamin Graber
06/15/07
Wow, this powerfully shows the value of purity and saving yourself for marriage. I also liked the "diary" format that you used.
Catrina Bradley
06/15/07
Fab! I love this - especially the voice change in the last entry. You nailed the different ages. Beautiful!
Sally Hanan
06/16/07
This was good, and you managed not to overdo her lesson learned too. I think you feel like you're not so sure about it becuse you couldn't write enough about the main point of the story. You could have left out her parents divorce and then you would have had more words to really get into the character's emotional psyche. You were able to a little in the attic picture, which was beautiful.

Well done.
Steve Uppendahl
06/16/07
Great idea for a teen story! The all-important diary. You did an excellent job of tackling realistic and vital events in a teen's life.

Nicely done.
Jan Ackerson
06/19/07
That last sentence just broke my heart. Very well written.
Dee Yoder
06/19/07
Good story! I like the way your character's voice "matures" in the last diary entry. You did a good job of tucking an important messgae into a very readable story.