Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Fire-fighter (10/05/06)
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TITLE: Drip | Previous Challenge Entry
By dub W
10/07/06 -
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Drip,
Drip,
Wood turned to charcoal
Grass turned to straw
Drip Drip
What once was hot is cold
What once was cold was hot
Drip Drip
The paper said a fire
Fire burned the paper
Drip Drip
Fire fighters fought the blaze
They finally gained control
Drip Drip
Yellow tape guards the door
The door has disappeared
Drip Drip
The windows have no glass
Empty eyes opened wide
Drip Drip
Somewhere a child is crying
A vacant sound of the night
Drip Drip
The dog who always barked there
Deadly silence now echoes
Drip Drip
The postman has no box
Deliveries never made
Drip Drip
Laughter filling hallways
Took vacation from the light
Drip Drip
Morning coffee always cooking
No pot in need of washing
Drip Drip
A kitchen with no ceiling
No table or a chair
Drip Drip
A morning devotion always heard
Seemed to disappear
Drip Drip
Prayers are lifted somewhere
Home meeting canceled today
Drip Drip
Perhaps God sent a message
Now start all over
Drip Drip
Drip,
Drip,
Drip.
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I really enjoyed your choices of words and the format.
We don't get much of these from you, Dub! How about some more!
Fire fighters fought the blaze
They finally gained control
Drip Drip
Yellow tape guards the door
The door has disappeared
Drip Drip
Good work.
I thought it was excellent the way you contrasted what used to be there but no longer was. I very much enjoyed reading this. Great work!
"The windows have no glass
Empty eyes opened wide
Drip Drip"
pulled me into the emptiness one feels when seeing their sanctuary obliterated. The devotion of a Christian family was written throughout this piece. I felt the aftermath of a fire and it was indeed on topic. Bless you dear Dub.
Your poignant verse of what was left after the firefighters did their job was right on. The drip of the water after the fire was only one reminder. Even worse was the lingering smell of the devastation.
You have a way with poetry. Keep it up!