A break with tradition | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: A break with tradition | Previous Challenge Entry
By alan kane
02/18/15
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Just received a sternly written communique from the Elf and Safety Executive. It chastised me for leaving a shovel beside a half-filled in hole beside a rainbow. I do not own nor have ever owned a shovel.

I generally shun publicity, but lately my clan has been receiving detrimental public relations. In the last number of years we have even had strange lanky people trying to mimic our way of life. Also others when they see us would try and steal our wealth. The worst time of the year is St. Patrick's day. This is the time I would rather be a cutsey fairy rather than a Leprechaun. In the past we were respected by pixies, elves, dwarfs and most of the other species. Now we are a laughing stock for all.

They whisper 'look at the drunk leprechaun, and other insults. We might like an odd drink but who doesn't, but always in moderation. We work very hard and are very possessive of our possessions.

I would like to break the myth that we stupidly hide gold in buckets which we bury at the end of a rainbow. This is totally false. We use banks and gain interest. No one I know would hide their hard earned resources in the ground. What do you think we are? Squirrels?

The greatest curse to my existence is this tradition of dressing up in a green costume and a rather silly hat. Personally I use Glint and Glint for all my suits. Nothing more fetching to the ladies than a leprechaun dressed smartly.

The whole recent problem was devised by the hobgoblins. Everyone knows that a leprechaun likes a laugh but the hobgoblins tenacity has gone too far. They stole some gold, placed it strategically at the end of a rainbow, and made sure that it was discovered. They made it so obvious they might as well have stuck a neon sign beside it. Since then we have been having to go underground, literally. The whole situation was exasperated when it was portrayed by those treterous hobgoblins that a leprechaun will always give a portion of their gold if captured. Ever since, people have been trying to blackmail us and extract a payment.

So in a break with tradition we are going public.

Step one: Facescribe.A well-known social networking forum on which we profile famous leprechauns. Hopefully if we get liked, we will not be hunted so much.

Step two: We have signed a few movie deals to portray us favorably. Just look at the vampires, they are seen in a totally different light...Well not daylight... teehee.

Step three: An in depth investigative exposition into the hobgoblins: what they do, and the lies they tell about us. We will spotlight their misdemeanors and hopefully the attention will move on to them.

I almost feel sorry for the hobgoblins, but they started this due to their envy of our position in the world.

Authors note: No leprechauns were maimed or injured. The shovel previously mentioned was mine and I can not confirm or deny if a crock of gold was found.

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