The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/19/15
Beautiful message in this well written entry.

Nicely done.

God bless
This is an interesting mini-sermon. I could easily picture a minister preaching this from the pulpit. You made some excellent points and did a nice job of backing them up with Scripture.

For me personally, I think the beginning might have had a greater pull if instead of giving the definition, if you started off with an example. For example something like this might work: Glaring at the new-comer sitting one pew back, Zoe snorted and rolled her eyes. Seriously, who is she trying to impress wearing that huge diamond in church? Zoe fingered her petite fake diamond as her stomach bubbled. Suddenly, she elbowed her husband in his ribs.

I took a lot of liberties to show you what I mean, but I wanted to show you what I meant.

Your way is by no means incorrect. Depending on what you're trying to achieve and who your audience is, your way may be perfect. I just wanted to share my opinion and show another way.

You definitely write with a passion that is palpable and I am impressed by that. Although you did use the topic word quite a bit, you definitely nailed the topic and presented the reader with something she can definitely relate to. Your message is one that we all need reminding of from time to time. It's sad the way some people behave in church. God certainly knows us well. I especially enjoyed that point. He knew what we would need and while somethings change over the years, human nature pretty much remains the same. Good job.
This was an interesting and informative article. It is well written. I rarely comment on other folks' comments, but Shann is an exceptionally gifted gal, and I absorb everything I can from her helpful comments. I agree with her, and if you consider her advice - you will fall in love with her too! Keep on keeping on writing, my friend . . .
02/26/15
Your article points to a weakness in human nature and one would have expected that members of the Church would rise above this deadly sin. But no, God knows our hearts as you point out and gave us His commandments to guide us. The fact that we do not heed His commands is that we are not yet followers of Christ.
02/26/15
Congrats!

God BLess~