Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Blog (10/20/11)

TITLE: Wielding Words
By Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom
11/02/11


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Flitting to her right, Robyn ducked for cover. "That one almost knocked me out! Those creatures can be such pests."

Jay nodded his head, "Makes me wonder why God created them. Do they really serve any purpose? In my opinion, the world would be better off without them. Eww, they give me the willies!"

A sudden gust of wind made Robyn shiver. "Well, I wouldn't go that far. God knows what He is doing. I was reading an interesting blog the other day. It was all about the way that creepy critters are used to fight diseases."

Jay tilted his head as he swatted at a buzzing mosquito. "It's amazing how diverse that contraption is. I wonder if the inventor of today's modern marvel had any clue how many different ways the computer would be utilized. Some use it for good while others have malevolent intentions."


"Oooohhh such big words. Me thinks you've been doing some surfing." Robyn's belly heaved with laughter.

Tipping his head into his chest, Jay's blood rushed to his face. "Okay, you caught me. I like to read; what can I say? Some of those web pages fascinate me. I stumbled over a journal entry of a teen girl. After reading about her horrific day, I needed a distraction so I looked up some new vocabulary words."

Robyn swiveled her head back and forth. "Tell me more. What was so tragic about that diary entry?"

Jay sniffled as mucous filled his head. "Sorry, it chokes me up every time I think of such needless suffering."

Robyn's eyes pierced Jay's. "There's nothing wrong with being empathetic."

Taking a deep breath, Jay cleared his throat. "Well, she wrote about her father calling her vile names. Apparently she had forgotten to do her chores and he was furious. He accused her of being a lazy, worthless, fat slob. She hurt so much that she took a knife and sliced her arms and legs up. People say things like words can't hurt but as we know words can be quite brutal."

"That's for sure. Once they're out you can't take them back. You think parents would monitor their offspring's activities better. I saw a local blog, Rumors Rule. It was started by high school students and they made up stories about different kids. So-and-so caught chlamydia from what's-her-name and this person slept with that person. It's positively disgraceful. I just don't understand how people can be so cruel." Robyn hopped from foot to foot. The pictures in her head fueled her anger.

Jay clucked in agreement, "Why can't they understand? Just because you delete something, it doesn't go away. It's out in cyberspace forever. Certain people don't realize that when they click submit, the words are circulated in the vastness for eternity."

Pointing to the window, Robyn sighed, "Look, the girl has been typing this entire time. She just hit enter. Quick fly east."

Jay spread his wings and flew straight into the stream of words emanating from the cable.

Robyn screeched, "No, the other east!"

Her warning came too late. Jay tumbled beak over feet, smacking hard into a oak tree. He preened his feathers trying to regain some composure, "Drat those humans! I told you that they and their nasty words are nothing but a nuisance. I think that last stream broke a feather. Words don't hurt! Tah! What a load of…"

Flapping her wings, Robyn tweeted a warning. Jay grumbled, dusted himself off and flew to the refuge of the woods. At least for now, he was safe from the onslaught of words.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 560 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Allison Egley 11/04/11
Oh, I loved the surprise ending. :)

I got a bit lost after your surprise, though. Are the MCs supposed to be birds? Or mosquitoes? Or the Twitter bird?

Despite the confusion on my part at the end, I loved this. Nice job.
Noel Mitaxa 11/04/11
Subtle punning here on Robyn and Jay, and tweeting. Very clever; but I'm having trouble getting mental picture of these birds working at computers. Call me a literalist if you like - or the 'nest'-best thing to a literalist!
Danielle King 11/07/11
I liked this birdie tale. It was original and clever in the way that you used the conversation between two birds to highlight the damage that careless words, whether spoken or written, can do. Good job!
Amy Michelle Wiley 11/07/11
I love the visual of the birds ducking from words flying wirelessly from one computer to another. And your point is good--words do hurt.
Theresa Santy 11/07/11
Fun adorable piece. I loved the symbolism of the bird getting hit by the rush of hurtful words.
Camille (C D) Swanson 11/09/11
Such a clever way of bringing "truth" to the "fore."

Words can hurt, and this was a well written entry. God Bless~
Colin Swann11/15/11
OK! I know people with bigger intellects than mine would have got it all - but alas with my limitations I didn't quite get it all and had to rely on other commenters to get me there.
But after saying all that, I enjoyed it very much!
Hiram Claudio11/15/11
This was wonderful! The twist at the end (the MCs being birds) added such a rich dimension for me. And the truth you tell is so important. Very nicely written.

It blessed me ... thanks!
Catherine Maher11/15/11
OMG! Poor birdies I could picture all those hurtful words flying out of the wires. It's funny and makes you laugh, but so true how we hear and sometimes speak a steady stream of negatives. This might just be my new fav. Thanks!
Edmond Ng 11/16/11
Much truth about blogging. Once the words go out, it can never go away by a mere edit or delete. The harm words can do to birds in knocking out birds is an absolute creative take on the topic! Good job on a well written piece.
Beth LaBuff 11/16/11
I loved the aha moment concerning Robyn and Jay. :) You'd get bonus points for creativity on this from me. :)
Camille (C D) Swanson 11/17/11
Congratulations on "your bonus win" for your comments-very well deserved!

And congrats on your HR placing - also very much deserved and earned.

God Bless~
Theresa Santy 11/18/11
Congratualations on your placing Shann! This was quite a fun read.
Nancy Sullivan 01/03/12
What a clever story, Shann. You had me til the very end, and lesson that we can never take back what was say (and write!) came through strong. Congrats on your HC. God Bless.
Dannie Hawley 04/18/12
Wow, those creative juices were flowing. I loved this article and the powerful truth it represented. The stats are proving that the old "Sticks and stones... but words can never hurt you: should read "but words can sometimes kill you." The kids should read this. Nice job.
Rachel Malcolm 08/01/13
A powerful message in a wonderfully creative tale!