The Official Writing Challenge
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12/11/08
I wept. That should give you a clue as to how well you did in your entry. Very touching, very well done, and right on target. To create tears in the eyes of a reader at the end, my friend, THAT is the sign of a Writer of great merit! Kudos!
Beautifully done! Powerful message.
This is really, really good. I felt happy tears threatening when she awoke with 'baby Jesus' in her hand. :)
12/16/08
This was a very good reminder of how we get so wrapped up in wrapping up that we don't think about the why's or the how's, just the what's. Thanks
I like this very descriptive line: “You were sleeping under the tree!” His tone took on that of a prosecuting attorney.

Good message; nicely done.

12/16/08
I loved how the voice brought your mc back to her senses and back to the true meaning of Christmas. It's so easy to get "caught up." We learn 2 very important lessons from your story. Nice job!
Thank you so much for this. Well done, great message. I love that her husband was patient with her. He realized what she was doing, but he didn't pressure her. I like how it's implied that he prayed for her.
12/16/08
You have some really good bits here, the sort of phrases that make me sit up and take notice.

I was a bit perturbed by the husband--since he was the one who knew what Christmas is really all about, why was he so passive about it? It didn't seem patient to me, but as if he'd yielded to his off-track wife.

Excellent writing, and very thought-provoking.
I loved the story of your mc's "awakening" to the true meaning of Christmas.
Loved it! You've given us a timely reminder about what the season of Christmas is really all about. It's true; we rush about a lot of the time and exhaust ourselves when we should be savouring the joy and promises of Christmas.
12/17/08
Wonderful! I loved it....very poignant. I'd be surprised if you didn't place. :)
12/17/08
A lovely story, with a very powerful awakening in the MC.
I read what you said on the bulletim board about the husband. I think you draw out well that sometimes it is only the Holy Spirit who can get through to us; we can be so deaf to other messengers. But, it can also be read that Sarah 'wears the trousers' and the husband is a bit hen-pecked and has settled into a weary attitude of 'anything for a quiet life'. In this way I can see why you are getting mixed feedback on this point! Don't let that distract you overly much though. The story is very moving and you make the point so well that Christmas is not first and foremost for the children, but for JESUS. And particularly that he wants to fellowship with us. Well done!
12/17/08
I love your MC's "conversation" with Jesus, and her realization that she had forgotten Him amongst all the hustle & bustle. I noticed a couple of tense shifts, and time-line issues (e.g. the first paragraph says the presents were wrapped, but then later she wraps them). The story ends well, and I really enjoyed it.