Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)
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TITLE: Flipper and Dipper and Shay | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gerald Shuler
01/30/08 -
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In headlines you read every day
Of the prize that was found down deep in the ground
By Flipper and Dipper and Shay.
These three had a friendship few others shared,
Enduring when all others fail.
But the prize they found brought their friendship down
And landed them squarely in jail.
Flipper told Dipper and Dipper told Shay
Of a deal too good to be true.
Flipper had found a remote piece of ground
Once owned by the pirate La Rue.
With stars in their eyes they purchased the deed
And set out, adventurers three.
They agreed to share what treasure was there
By dividing it equally.
All three friends knew that the pirate La Rue
Hid his treasures from prying eyes.
What had been hidden? And what would be found?
And how would it then change their lives?
So each bought a shovel and each bought gloves
And each started digging a hole.
They dug and they dug and they dug some more
‘Til they finally reached there goal.
All three had hit something six feet below…
The treasure at last had been found.
Nobody knew what the treasure would be
‘Til they pulled the crate up from the ground.
They opened the box and were horrified
To see the grim contents inside.
Bones upon bones and more bones stacked on bones…
The crew of La Rue and his bride.
Where were the rubies? The diamonds? The Pearls?
Their hopes and their dreams fled away.
All that remained was some worthless old bones…
Poor Flipper and Dipper and Shay.
But that was their find, they’d split it three ways…
By friendship their honor was bound.
With care they put all the bones in three sacks
And the crate went back in the ground.
On the way home they met up with the man
Who had sold them the worthless land.
They showed what they’d found down deep in the ground
Then pummeled his head with their hand.
They shouldn’t have fought, that’s how they were caught…
Policemen were passing that way.
Full backup was called and handcuffs installed
On Flipper and Dipper and Shay.
They’re guiltless, they claim, so it seems such a shame
Their shovels stopped digging the ground.
They never knew that the pirate La Rue
Hid his stash just another foot down.
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I like the internal rhyme, and wish you had used it throughout.
There were a few meter inconsistencies, but they could not spoil the overall effect.
Laury
Sestinas end in just three lines. You have thirteen verses. The first six would make one Sestina plus borrow three lines from another verse. Then you have a full six verses left plus three to finish off perfectly two Sestinas or one big double. That's fantastic!
‘Til they finally reached there goal.
Should be "their" goal. but that's really nit picky, I know.
This is just marvelous. I love rhyming poetry, and I love this one especially. The ending is perfection.