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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write an INSPIRATIONAL or DEVOTIONAL piece (04/26/07)
The Shipwreck
Lost on a desert island
Of rolling
Wind shaped dunes
A battered raft
deflated
On a vanilla beach
Of finely crushed stone.

The sea
A brilliant blue
Sparkles
Gem-like
Gently rising
And falling
As it breathes.

The beach
Sings solo in the wind
Clean shaven and barren
Captive
Twix
A searing sun
And crashing waves.

The lost one
Tattered Khaki pants
Barefoot
An unbuttoned
White sweat-stained shirt
A tattooed cross
On reddened skin.

The question
Spoke in tears
Salty
Like the endless beauty
Of ocean’s volume
“Why God
Don’t you love me anymore?”

The answer
A whispering wind
A billowing cloud
A darkening sky
A massaging mist
Cool, refreshing
Flavorless.

The first revelation
Tears of
Shame
And alluring sea’s
Lust
Sting the tongue
With similar tang.



The second revelation
What I taste
Imprisoning me
Flows also
From my soul
Have I become one
With my sin?

The third revelation
Your love, God
Energizing
Unsoiled and pure
Fresh and cleansing
From above
Encouraging.

The prayer
“I know I am
A sinful man
Lost in a sea
Of what pleases
My eye
Deliver me, God.”

The miracle
Three white masts
On the sapphire
Horizon
Grows larger
Draws nearer
Rescuing.

The inspiration
If you’re adrift
Shipwrecked
Encircled by
Your own sin
Cry out to God
He will answer.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Brenda Blakely
05/07/07
Beautiful words. I caught the impact at the 2nd revelation, prayer and 3rd revelation. There is some wonderful "meat" here. This work is like a tree, so beautiful with all it's branches. I have so much difficulty knowing which branches to prune. A snip here and there well-planned and placed makes the tree so much more beautiful and able to bear fruit and/or withstand the winds of life. You might consider pruning this beautiful work just a little so the message comes through a little stronger. It is a good message. Hang onto it. I will be praying for God's help, if this is what you need to do and look forward to more work from you. Thanks for sharing.
Jan Ackerson
05/07/07
How absolutely beautiful, and I was especially touched by the 2nd revelation. Really, really nicely done.

FYI: I think you meant 'twixt instead of twix (unless you were writing about the candy bar). It's short for "betwixt", a lovely poetic word not much used any more.
Loren T. Lowery
05/09/07
I truly enjoyed all the allegories presented in your poem. A wonderfu testimony to the ever abiding love of God.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 
05/09/07
Brilliant images - Flowing rhythm - Loved it - I see it as a small book with pictures instead of or with titles on one side and the words on the other.
Keep writing - truly inspiring
Benjamin Graber
05/09/07
Neat poem! I really like the first question and the answer.
Keep up the good work!
Joanne Sher 
05/09/07
This had a wonderful flow to it - and is beautifully written.