Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Eek! (02/25/10)
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TITLE: With friends like that | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joni Andrews
03/04/10 -
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I'll always wonder why it was me in the chair and not her.
Surely I could have wielded the scissors as well as her.
But there I sat. Hair damp, cape on-- like a natural born stylist she went to work on me. Large clump after large clump of hair dropped down by our feet onto the calf skin rug in her basement. I did not feel the least bit of trepidation or resistance. "Do with me what you will," seemed to be my stance. An attitude that definitely has not served me well. (Then or since, by the way.)
Anyway. My friend only got one side done when the babysitter (her Grandmother) caught us. Granny took one look, jumped back and let out a shriek of fright. Then she got mad. Furious, actually. She made us pick up every last one of my severed blond curls from the floor and stuff them into a garbage bag. I was sent me home, across the street, with bag in tow.
Well. You can imagine my mother's reaction.
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This was charming the way it was, but I'd have loved more--you had so many more words, and this was well done.
Would love to be able to see a picture of the finished product! How DID your Mom respond?
Very engaging piece. I don't have much in the way of red ink, other than I would love to see the fourth paragraph expanded into a showing vs. telling scene.
You're a natural writer, for sure!