The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Comparison is a great literary tool that you used very well.

It is a good lesson and you should share it.

One paragraph had “grew” and “become” side by side. I’m sure you meant to remove one of them.

The word “funds” was spelled “founds” in one spot.
Thanks for sharing that personal story, great way of using it to show a moral. Keep writing.
01/18/08
I was right there with you - great job with the parallels. Keep writing!
This must have been awful to experience. You certainly got me in there following the story and caring for the wife and kids.
That last line is a great question. How great are the pinnacle of our mountains but for the dept of our valleys. Nice piece of emotive writing.