Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Love and Grace (09/11/14)
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TITLE: The Story of 'Redeemed' | Previous Challenge Entry
By
09/16/14 -
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My name has been lost forever. But my story echoes through the centuries, touching countless lives; maybe you are among them. It’s the story of a chance encounter that changed everything.
Through the bars of the prison I observed, standing before Pilate, a man like no other. He stood silently as the thorns shredded his scalp, the soldiers tormented him and the crowds unleashed their venom. Instead of fighting back or cursing, this ‘Jesus the Nazarene’ (as they called him) just stood silently with that deep sadness in his eyes: sadness not for himself, but others.
I snarled. Didn’t this fool realise he would be crucified? Who was this? Why did I loathe him so much? Was it because looking at him was like looking into a mirror, in which I saw myself as I truly was: a man hopelessly lost, and far away from the God revered by his forefathers...
Some thieves steal through greed, others through need. Me? I stole knowing full well that I violated God’s Commandments. That made me a condemned man in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. My earthly and eternal fates were sealed, so what did it any of these questions matter?
Violent hands seized me and another criminal. They shoved a rough, heavy cross onto my shoulder. After another savage whipping, Jesus, myself and the other prisoner were herded like cattle to the slaughter on our journey of shame through the city, to Golgotha. The crowds hurled stones and insults; the other criminal and I spat curses back. But Jesus, instead, spoke tender words of compassion to some women.
The thought uppermost thought in my mind was how I hated Barabbas, and wished I could trade places. The reality of impending crucifixion hit me with a mixture of ice-cold terror and blazing anger; terror of the Romans, anger at God – where was he? Wasn’t this Jesus supposedly the Messiah? If that were true then why hadn’t he somehow miraculously delivered us from imminent death! My anger surged again. Then he looked at us both, sensing what we were thinking, and I saw again that same deep sadness I saw before. This time, I knew: it was for me. And something changed...
I had noticed that, even whilst enduring terrible suffering, all he seemed to care about was others – either offering words of comfort or begging the heavens to forgive those crucifying him. Did this forgiveness include me?
Why was he weeping for me; a vile, condemned thief? Could this be the meaning of ‘love’ which he was always talking about?
Could he really love me?
In a sudden, blinding moment of clarity, I finally realised: the man crucified beside me wasn’t just love, but, truly, the Son of God! Love compelled him to accept the cross and die to save me from an eternity in hell. I could never have earned and did not deserve such sacrifice. My life had been a waste, but my destiny no longer had to be. Barabbas wasn’t the one who was free: I was!
As the other criminal continued to hurl abuse, I knew I could not stay silent any longer. I hoped that, perhaps, I could help him see what Jesus offered and be saved...
Jesus died first; I survived long enough to hear the centurion him to be the Son of God. As my breathing became increasingly laboured, my soul grew lighter and more joyful as, like a newborn babe, with grateful gulps it inhaled its new-found freedom. Soon, as promised, I would be reunited with Jesus, my Lord and Saviour, and dwell forever with him in paradise.
On Resurrection Day I witnessed heaven’s doors being thrown wide open. Now I beam with joy every time I hear another soul coming over the threshold, jubilantly recounting how they too discovered, and were transformed by, love they did not deserve.
Earlier, I mentioned my name was long since erased from history. In my culture, your name said something about who you are. Whatever mine was, it no longer matters – once I was a thief, but no more. Although I didn’t meet him until literally the final hours of my wretched existence, because of that chance encounter with Jesus’ love and grace, I have a new identity and a new name: “Redeemed.”
Author’s note:
This account is fiction, based on all four Gospel accounts of the Passion of Christ.
Matt 27:1-56,
Mark 15:1-41
Luke 23:1-49
John 18:28-19:37
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Great!
God bless~
I think there were two sentences with words left out but I put them in as I read the story. Others probably will also. That did not detract from the emotion and power of this story.
I especially liked the way you concluded with your MC rejoicing over his new name.
Shalom --
I also liked how you made the MC jealous of Barabbas at first—a very believable sentiment.
A little more proof reading would have tightened it up a bit. But overall good entry.
You started to love me a little when your thief put the whole Gospel message together in his head as he hung on the cross. Not that I don't believe that is possible, but because I don't see any sign of it in him prior to when it pops up. You are providing the entire story from his inner thoughts, but this seems to come out of nowhere and, for me, stretches believability. If there were hints of the possibility of his conclusion, then the authenticity of his declaration would be established and resolve the issue.
That's just my opinion, and does not take away in the least from the fact that you have written a great piece here that is worthy of all the wonderful comments.
I also agree with Verna that you belong in the next level, along with about half a dozen other people writing in Beginner right now.
Excuse me while I go find a rock to crawl under.
God bless~