Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Note (02/07/13)
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TITLE: Get out of the TRAFFIC!!!!! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Lesley Perez
02/07/13 -
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“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God,
above politics, above everything.” Psalms 46:10
I abosolutly LOVE the Message version of this verse, you may know the verse by NIV or KJV
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
I constantly forget what "be still" means to God. I struggle with this, as I am, by nature, a complete busy body. I think every mom on the face of the earth can relate to the struggle of not just hearing from God but actually having time to listen to him, much less be able to implement his words into their very busy, crazy, hectic lives.
Step out of the traffic!
I imagine myself in the middle of Hwy 35 in Austin Tx standing there alone. Amidst the noise and confusion and not to mention the people screaming and honking at me to get out of the road. I have my Bible in hand, ready at any point to open it and listen for my instruction. As people speed passed, screaming vulgarer words...I open the book and look down, as hard as I try to get passed three words, and completely comprehend them....I just cant. Everything around me is loud, I'm fearful of being hit, I'm not comfortable, and I am definitely not in the listening mood.
If I was honest with myself I would have to say that although I am not in the middle of HWY 35, I am in the middle of a pretty hectic life, and the truth is I still have all the same concerns as if I was in the middle of a highway.
My life is loud.
I am scared of being hit by the things that pass through here.
and I don't know about other moms, but this mom has kids that know when I get comfortable and needless to say that does not last long...lol
So on days like today when the traffic gets heavy and the people are grouchy, I am feeling very blessed to have a God, a dad, that says, "Step out of the traffic!"...go sit on the grass and get your composer, spend time with me there, so you are not aimlessly wondering around in the streets...although it is a task to walk out of the road through the weaving cars, I did it today. Im going to remember today that its OK to get by on the sidelines, the streets are not what give me strength, they are not even where I am meant to be, they are just the only place I have to serve my father, so that's where I am going, back out on the street, to share with this world what a GREAT GOD I have.
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It's a good lesson for all of us to learn. Thanks for helping me to remember the casualties of a hectic life. Keep writing.
I think out of the eight criteria the judges use, the one that might score the lowest in my opinion would be if it was on topic. I know in the beginning, you mentioned it was a note to self, but if you took that line out, it wouldn't really change your story. Another way to nail if you're nailing the topic would be if someone who didn't know what the topic was, if they could figure it out from your story, then you know the story is on topic.
With that said, I think you did a great job with the other criteria. The beginning grabbed my attention. The Bible verse you used is a perfect fit for your powerful message. The ending is great too, it brings the story full circle. This was a delight to read.
Your writing flows well, and your "voice" is quite apparent. As was stated, the title is a grabber.
Thank you. God Bless~