The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/14/13
I liked the title and poetical quality of your writing. I am not sure who Akhil is though.
This is a lovely tribute. You have a poetic way of arranging your words. I do fear that you may lose quite a few of your readers though. I even searched for a connection between the band Journey and the name Akhil but didn't find anything. That does happen with poetry though. Sometimes it goes over one person's head while touching another's heart. Though I didn't totally understand it, many of the lines brought a vivid picture to my mind. I especially liked the bell bottom lines. Don't get discouraged because one or two people may not have understood everything. You have a wonderful sense of rhythm and the sardonic sense of humor wasn't entirely lost on me. I'm eager to read more of your works.
This is magical. Leaving your readers with questions is an art. You have me begging for more.
I came back to this piece because the words haunted me. I sense a pain so great that it can only be known by a love equally as great. Everyone who knew Akhil will treasure this piece. He will live forever in your words.
I came back to this piece because the words haunted me. I sense a pain so great that it can only be known by a love equally as great. Everyone who knew Akhil will treasure this piece. He will live forever in your words.