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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Father (as in paternal parent, not God) (04/10/08)
Broken Trust, Broken Home




The stairs creaked. I clutched the covers, submerging my whole being into them, until I was buried with my face barely showing. My racing heart was pounding so loud.

Can he hear it?

The stair creaked louder, as every inch of my being strained to hear, dreading the steps I heard.

If I scream, will he go away? Why is he doing…?

The door opened. Lying in bed, my back to the door, I hoped it appeared I was asleep, hoped he would leave. He came to the other side of the bed.

“You stayed home from school,” he said quietly as he lay across the double bed, his face unbearably close.

I could hardly breathe as I opened my eyes, and managed, “Yeah, I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Well, you get some rest,” he said as he leaned closer and gave what was not a father daughter kiss. I lay frozen, petrified, as he left my room and went down the creaking stairs, and left for work.

I wanted to scream, run, hide, but the terror that kept me silent as he left my room engulfed my whole being. I trembled as I wiped my mouth with the sheet. The last two days were a nightmare of surreal events that left me panicked and helpless.

Why is Dad doing this? Why is mom away? I thought angrily.

The waves of confusion and fear enveloped me, pulling me down, bottling the tears that would not pour out.

The day was excruciatingly long as I waited for my older sister, Kelly, to come home. The feelings of the last two days tumbled out as I tried to tell her all that happened.

I was devastated as she burst into tears and said, “Dad’s been doing those things to me since I was ten. He told me not to tell. He said it was my fault.” She could not stop crying, but agreed we needed to call Mom, who was visiting family. Kelly’s sobbing became the resolve I needed as I dialed the phone.

“Mom, there’s something wrong with Dad, he’s doing things,” I started out strong and then reeled with the emotion of what I was saying.

“Please, come home, we need you.” The tears started to pour from that bottled heartache. It had finally shattered. Mom assured me she would come, but it would take two days. We waited by the phone as she contacted friends, hoping we could stay with them until she arrived.

My heart was in my throat when my brother got home from his after school job. I tried to tell him what had happened, but the tears would not stop. It was getting late, and we knew Dad would be coming home from work. The fear was choking as we all dreaded the thought of being there with him. The terror engulfed us after Mom phoned, and we raced up the stairs to our rooms, throwing what we needed into grocery bags, and grabbing hangers of clothes. The taxi driver looked perplexed as we ran to the car, our arms laden. We left all the lights on in our panic to escape.

After school the next day, I was trembling but relieved when I saw Dad was not at home, and picked up my forgotten homework.

I froze. I heard his car door. The back door of the house opened.

I was trapped. I was so afraid, my mouth was dry. I could hardly breathe. I forced my legs to take those last steps from the dining room. I could not move as he stepped into the kitchen, blocking my escape.

Dad had been crying, and was surprised to see me. He tried to tell me why he had done those things. He wanted to stop, and said he knew I would not take it, and then, “I am so sorry.”

The tears ran down my face as I gave him a hug, afraid, not knowing what else to do in our broken lives and broken home.

I made my escape, running by the time I hit the sidewalk.


__________

Months later, after separation and much heartache, Dad called Mom, saying he had accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior and Lord, and asked our forgiveness. He wanted to know if we could start over. We did, with much fear and trepidation.

I have since learned that with God, all things are possible.* Nothing can separate us from His love*, when you believe and trust Christ.*





*****
*Luke 18:26 And they that heard it said, Who then can be saved? 27. And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. (KJB)

*1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJB)

* Rom 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?... 37. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (KJB)
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This article has been read 937 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nana Bunch
04/17/08
Riveting piece. It takes courage to revisit old pains and memories that we tend to pack deep inside and out of sight, hoping they will just go away. I was very touched by your story and your ability to pull me into the raw emotion and terror of this kind of abuse that causes so much internal damage. I thank God for His grace and ability to heal our hearts and to show us that His love can overcome the worst possible traumas in life - especially when it comes to parents, who are supposed to be our protectors and nurturers - not our worst enemies. Very well written and expressed.
Marlene Austin
04/17/08
Well-written tension evoked strong emotions. Very good control of this story. :)
Joanne Sher 
04/19/08
Oh wow! I hope this isn't true for you, though I know it happens way more often than it should. Your fear was so real and the descriptions so powerfully frightening and riveting. A very, VERY strong piece.
Norma-Anne Hough
04/19/08
Powerful story. Feelings well put across. Why these things h appen is hard to fathom. Believe me I know what I am talking about.
Blessings,
Norms
mary wolf
04/20/08
courageous and well written.
The onley pain worse thanthis is to know he did not get saved. thank you for showing that forgivness is healing.
Sheri Gordon
04/23/08
Wow. This is very well written. I felt total fear for the MC. I was actually shaking by the time I finished reading. Very good job, and I can't imagine how hard this was for you to write.
Dee Yoder
04/23/08
I'm glad you girls were able to tell and make your escape from that dreadful time. I hope your dad was able to be freed from the sin that was hurting your family so terribly. Wow, you're so brave and honest in this account, and I know it must have tough to write about. I pray your life at home, after these incidents, improved. God bless you for sharing this with others. May He use it to promote change in someone else's life, too.
Lollie Hofer 
04/24/08
My prayer is that there will be someone reading this who needs to see your courage. I pray that your courage will give them the courage they need to start the road to healing and recovery...that they too will reach out to someone and cry, "Help me!" You are indeed very courageous to revisit your past and write this piece. Isn't this what our writing is all about? Touching lives through the power and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Sara Harricharan
04/24/08
Wow. I admire you for your courage. This took something to write and you did well with it too. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Joshua Janoski
04/24/08
I really admire you stepping out and telling this true story even though I am sure it was very painful to tell it.

I think that writing is a great way to express emotions and deal with life's issues. I appreciate you sharing this. I look forward to reading more entries from you. :)
Sara Harricharan
04/28/08
^_^ I hope this qualifies as RED INK:

I was a little surprised that she gave a hug after all that had happened. If she was scared enough to be running to the sidewalk.

The part where she and her sister talk-there is only a sentence about the brother. I wasn't even sure if he was there at all and if he helped them get away, if he went with them, etc. That needed some clarification, I suspect the word count cut out some of the details like that.

And why did the Mom go away? Just to visit family two days away? Why did it seem so hard to reach her?

Otherwise-you captured good feelings here. I hope that helped some! ^_^