Humor
I-am-Spam.
Spam-I-am.
Spam-I-am; that Spam-I-am;
I do not like that Spam-I-am!
Would you like my latest spam?
I would not like it, Spam-I-am;
I do not want your latest spam!
Would you like it here with me?
Or should we try it out at sea?
I would not like it, Spam-I-am;
I do not want your latest spam!
Would you like it in a park?
Or is it better in the dark?
Or on a bus, or on a train -
To build the power of your brain?
And…
If being wealthy is your itch,
My latest spam could make you rich!
Spam-I-am,
Why don’t you scram?
I do not want your latest spam!
I’ll ask you not to bother me
Here or sailing out at sea.
I do not want spam in a park;
I do not want spam in the dark;
Nor on a bus; nor on a train.
It’s not for us – Can I be plain?
I don’t want spam to make me rich;
I’d much prefer life in a ditch!
I do not want it, Spam-I-am;
You viral IT battering-ram!
You do not want new spam you say?
Try it; try it; and you may …
Just one click will do the trick!
A little click – it’s oh so quick!
I do not want your latest toy.
Please find another to annoy.
Spam-I-am, please go away,
I do not know what else to say.
All other side-tracks I’ve forsook;
Please, just let me write my book!
A book? A book?
Why, let me look!
My spam can help you with research;
It would not leave you in the lurch.
My latest spam can open doors
To data that is not now yours.
All up to date – just click your mouse –
Completely free - so use your nous!
All up to date? Just click my mouse?
It’s not for me! You leave my house!
Why not be friends? I’m all a-quiver
At all the stuff I can deliver!
If we were friends, your fun might double,
But I’m sure I’d end up in trouble!
I do not want your latest spam,
I might get trapped in some new scam!
So please believe my indignation;
I just don’t want your information!
Let’s color your imagination:
Give spam your close “Eggs-Ham”-ination!
Inside your inbox you will find
Sad Fox in Socks – he’s so maligned!
And you’ll discover it’s a cinch
To meet my kind old friend the Grinch!
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish;
I’ll provide whatever you wish!
I’ll never be a spam apologist
Or ever be a child psychologist -
Your Cats in Hats
Pull habits from rats!
It’s not my scene;
That’s what I mean!
Together we could Run the Zoo -
Helping Horton Hear his Who!
And I’d ensure that every Sneetch
Stayed well and truly out of reach!
I have Hunches in Bunches
About future lost lunches.
Spam-I-am; you’ll have to stop.
Don’t Hop on Pop on my laptop!
Have no doubt. As a straight-shooter,
I want you out of my computer!
For any now who still peruse
My message now may not amuse.
Before my train of thought I lose
I have to break some awful news...
My banter ends. They must excuse me
(In case an irate Doctor Seuss me!)
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It's very clever and I'm inclined to agree with the others that your humour and Noelogisms are well suited to poetry.
So there you are - go for it!
This one was truly perfect in all aspects, well written, funny, and you definitely made Dr. Seuss smile in Heaven. Fantastic job!
This would have been a winner in the Spam Entry -too bad it didn't make it.
Congrats and keep on entertaining us with your phenomenal talent.
God Bless~